UpWork, which is pretty much the definitive online freelancing platform now, just gave us all a great resource that I think hasn’t gotten enough buzz. I’m talking about the UpWork Top 100. It’s a ranking of the top 100 skills that clients seek in the freelance field.
What does it mean to me as a freelance writer? Not much at first glance – the web still needs content, I type content, there will always be a job for me. But secondary influences come into play here. My greedy little gold-plated heart wants to chase every market as it comes up. When cryptocurrency was big (the infamous BitCoin bubble of 2017), I blogged crypto. Now that legalized cannabis is hot, I’ve jumped into that market. I go where the money is.
Yes, it’s time once again for grandpa geek to neckbeard about my top MTG Commander EDH generals. These are the staples, the ones I rebuild and replay again and again, because they’re worth the time and trouble. I see players asking in the forums all the time, “What EDH deck should I build next?” Well, this is my attempt to answer that question with a list of those I propose will appeal to the widest possible base, regardless of budget, skill, or experience.
Who loves horror? Who loves really sick horror? Who loves horror that lends itself to lots of sick jokes? Memememe, and all you other crazy wonderful bent weirdos out there! So over at Spookwire I got to list the top 7 cannibal horror movies – the ones I consider most essential cores to the genre, anyway.
And at the end of the post at Spookwire, I left a little present: links to several news stories reporting humans being served in restaurants. I don’t mean “served” like a patron, I mean “served” in a Damon Knight sense.
But wait, the post isn’t finished yet! Click through for seconds, and save room for dessert!
So I notice Millennials and Generation Z (or younger folk, if you’re sick and tired of these arbitrary generation definitions that nobody agrees on) seem to wax nostalgic for the arcade times. This, even though they may have been born long after the arcade heyday. There’s ever a word for it: anemoia, nostalgia for a time you’ve never known.
So I figured to either sharpen or alleviate some of that with an IMGUR gallery time capsule of 1980s-era video game arcades. Not so much focused on the games as on the arcades themselves, the chains and one-offs that we encountered in malls and boardwalks across the land. Then one of my freelance clients clamored for their own arcade nostalgia experience, so I posted a far more elaborate arcade rat memoir there.
Bottom line: Front-runner wins, everybody else GTFO! I dress it up in my characteristic snark, of course, but the nut of the matter is we lost 2016 because the only thing a Democrat seems to hate worse than a Republican is another Democrat. When Republicans are onstage, all I hear are people ripping up Democrats. When Democrats are on stage, all I hear are people ripping up Democrats. We need allies, not saboteurs.
I don’t care who’s polling at the top, if it’s a fireplug, everybody else needs to bow out, shut up, drop out, and throw their support behind the fireplug! This is the easiest election to win ever! All you have to do is present a united front.
Bill Maher points it out: “All the Democrats have to do is come off LESS CRAZY THAN TRUMP and of course they’re blowing it!”
Please, people, save your petty little tent agendas for some other year. This is a life and death election. We are amidst a Cold Civil War. Our nation’s soul is at stake. The Titanic is sinking and Democrats can’t stop fighting over how to redecorate the underwater ballroom.
Since it didn’t make the cut in the article, I HAVE to rave about this TV commercial from the 1980s, Time-Life Books’ Enchanted World series, narrated by the Prince of Horror himself:
Maybe ya’all haven’t noticed yet, but *I* *freakin’* *love* *Android*! It’s the spawn of a union of two of my favorite technologies, Linux and Google, and while it’s never perfect, it’s damn near the “year of Linux on the desktop” we all yearned for.
So I reviewed a stack of apps for Android, just paying homage to the stuff that’s privileged to stay installed on my beloved tablets. There’s the top games on Android, mostly free with a couple paid-for honorable mentions. And the top free non-game apps on Android, focusing on free apps that you may not have heard of.
So apparently, the late H.P. Lovecraft has gained new-found popularity with younger generations, even though he was about as politically correct as Archie Bunker. Over at Suggested Reads, a new site for discovering quality literature, I had the opportunity to at last dive into the works of Lovecraft and ink out a map for the first-time Arkham tourist.
Iowa thunderstorm season always puts me in the mood for catching up on my horror reading. Call it Pavlovian conditioning from all the years watching mad scientists in castle laboratories working during a thunderstorm. So pawing through my bookshelf, it occurred to me that there’s one horror genre not born of literature, but film.
Zombies, to wit. Vampires, werewolves, mummies, serial killers, ghosts, Jekyll and Hyde, and Cthulhu, they all came from the pages of literature first, then got adapted to film second under the loving guidance of Universal, Hammer, Amicus, and company. But zombies formed on the silver screen, and they took a few decades to catch on there. And only then did they start showing up in literature in the same form.
Sure, technically speaking, the first zombie movie, 1932’s White Zombie, was based on William Seabrook’s 1929 novel The Magic Island. But these were early prototypes, still steeped in voodoo medicine (inaccurate, by the way). What we mean when we say “zombie” now is owed to George Romero, full stop, and then the genre had to drift into literature.
So, here’s a great reading list of zombie apocalypse novels over at Suggested Reads. Oh, yes, they’re all very modern. Quite a few of those have seen their own film adaptation, circulus vitae, including Patient Zero and The Girl With All The Gifts.
But this subject got me to wondering: What is it about zombie apocalypses that make them such a self-contained stock scenario? Their popularity stems from what TVTropes calls the “Cozy Catastrophe.” The apocalypse always just so happens to leave a few lucky middle-class folk who, in between fighting off the brain-hungry hordes, is having a smashing time having the world to loot to themselves.
No more boring office job for me! I’m going Mad-Maxing!
A few of my reviews whirled by over at 366 Weird Movies while I was too busy with other things (week off for Father’s Day and all that). To catch up:
CAPSULE: AGAINST THE CLOCK (2019) – A messy mish-mosh of cyberpunk spy thriller themes, as half-baked as the sloppy CGI fractals and hyperactive jump cuts that frame this abortion of a film.
CAPSULE: KEOMA (1976) – Could have been a contender for the last great spaghetti western, but is ruined by the Soundtrack From Hell. Yes, you heard right, and you’ll wish you’d never heard. You’re asking of course, how bad can this possibly be? Here’s a sample. Now imagine that crotch-splitting abomination going on for the ENTIRE MOVIE. That’s right, it never shuts up, a continuous Greek chorus obliterating every serious moment for the 105 minute run-time.
CAPSULE: HARD TICKET TO HAWAII (1987) – A harmless descendant of Miami Vice, with lots of booby cheesecake and a loose story that has something impenetrable to do with a snake, a toilet, a blow-up doll, a skateboard, and a razor-edged Frisbee.
