Month: July 2019

The Las Vegas Grasshopper Invasion 2019

Pardon me for sounding so… preachy… but as a prophet I am obligated to share my testimony. The Las Vegas grasshopper invasion is God’s punishment for not believing me when I said this exact same thing happened in Bullhead City, Arizona, back in the 1990s. Bullhead being a tiny town and the 1990s being what they were (I swear we were the only household at the time to discover Internet), there weren’t many to witness it, so now I finally have a back-up confirmed sighting.

Yes, folks, Old testament locust plagues happen!

I love how all the news reports have to reassure panicky people over and over: They’re harmless. They don’t bite. There is nothing to be scared of, don’t panic. What, are people running around screaming in fear of being devoured?

Having braved a plague like this (BELIEVE ME NOW???), I’m afraid I have to point out that they’re not entirely harmless…

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New at 123ish: Items of Devotion for Alternative Religion + Join My Cult!

So this was a weird experimental post based on my starting an argument in which I held the position that you can make an Amazon product list out of anything. “Anything?” they said. “Anything, just pick something,” I said. So they said “something for the spiritual category.” And then I was naming the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Bob J.R. Dobbs and they went “Wait a minute, maybe this isn’t such a good idea.” But I said “Too late! Things have been set in motion which cannot be undone!”

And that’s how we got a list of Best Devotional Items For Alternative Religions. With a bonus section where I introduce my own alternative religion: the Cult of the Temponaut! I hope one day to have my cult grow to a world-wide viral phenomenon, just like all the wacky cults we deal with already. I mean, mine is mostly benevolent and nobody can get hurt in it, right? Ah well, we’ll find out, omelets and eggs.

Just remember, physicists have reversed time already using a quantum computer. That’s how you get Temponauts! Start showing them respect before you have to deal with them all at once.

New at Spookwire: History of Witch Torture

For your leery-eyed, lurid entertainment, we round up some of the historic ways kinky Catholics used to torture random women accused of witchcraft.

Since it didn’t make the cut in the article, I HAVE to rave about this TV commercial from the 1980s, Time-Life Books’ Enchanted World series, narrated by the Prince of Horror himself:

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New at 123ish: Amazon Prime Day, your corporate overlord report

Yes, I know, worshiping the temple of e-Commerce is a bit far out of my usual wheelhouse, where I’m typically frolicking with Cthulhu or posting unhinged rants against palm trees. But guess what, chicken butt: Your humble author has to eat too, and articles about Amazon Prime Day brings in the bacon.

It’s funny, too, because for all the vitriol Amazon draws, it’s really just the online version of Sears-Roebuck. Present your case, John Oliver:

Now my case:

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New at 123ish: I review lots of Android stuff.

Maybe ya’all haven’t noticed yet, but *I* *freakin’* *love* *Android*! It’s the spawn of a union of two of my favorite technologies, Linux and Google, and while it’s never perfect, it’s damn near the “year of Linux on the desktop” we all yearned for.

So I reviewed a stack of apps for Android, just paying homage to the stuff that’s privileged to stay installed on my beloved tablets. There’s the top games on Android, mostly free with a couple paid-for honorable mentions. And the top free non-game apps on Android, focusing on free apps that you may not have heard of.

 

New at Suggested Reads: HP Lovecraft Books That’ll Give You Nightmares

So apparently, the late H.P. Lovecraft has gained new-found popularity with younger generations, even though he was about as politically correct as Archie Bunker. Over at Suggested Reads, a new site for discovering quality literature, I had the opportunity to at last dive into the works of Lovecraft and ink out a map for the first-time Arkham tourist.

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