New at 123ish: Reluctantly Covering the Democratic Primary Zoo

Look, folks, I don’t always get to pick the topic, OK? Clients want stuff, I give them stuff. So when political season inevitably reared its scab-encrusted head, I did my painful duty. So here’s a scorecard of the current contenders for Democratic president 2020.

Bottom line: Front-runner wins, everybody else GTFO! I dress it up in my characteristic snark, of course, but the nut of the matter is we lost 2016 because the only thing a Democrat seems to hate worse than a Republican is another Democrat. When Republicans are onstage, all I hear are people ripping up Democrats. When Democrats are on stage, all I hear are people ripping up Democrats. We need allies, not saboteurs.

I don’t care who’s polling at the top, if it’s a fireplug, everybody else needs to bow out, shut up, drop out, and throw their support behind the fireplug! This is the easiest election to win ever! All you have to do is present a united front.

Bill Maher points it out: “All the Democrats have to do is come off LESS CRAZY THAN TRUMP and of course they’re blowing it!”

Please, people, save your petty little tent agendas for some other year. This is a life and death election. We are amidst a Cold Civil War. Our nation’s soul is at stake. The Titanic is sinking and Democrats can’t stop fighting over how to redecorate the underwater ballroom.

 

Author: Penguin Pete

Take good care of my memes; I've raised them since they were daydreams!