Tag: woke

MTG Arena has the worst ad for anything, ever

Well, I’m more than on-record as a long-standing Magic: the Gathering geek. But that’s the paper cards. When it comes to the electronic offerings of Wizards of the Coast trying to replicate their paper game in video media, there’s no point in trying to be nice about it: They all stink on ice. After a token attempt to get MTG Arena to run on ANY device I own by ANY means necessary, I lost interest, as I have so many times before. So dismissed has been the video game interpretations of MTG from my consideration, that this is my first time talking about them at all, anywhere.

But have you seen this new MTGArena ad? I saw it on YouTube and was too paralyzed with horror to hit the ‘skip’ button. Good GAWD, people, what the WTF were you THINKING???

There’s so much gone so wrong to unpack here, I barely know where to start…

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New at 123ish: Reluctantly Covering the Democratic Primary Zoo

Look, folks, I don’t always get to pick the topic, OK? Clients want stuff, I give them stuff. So when political season inevitably reared its scab-encrusted head, I did my painful duty. So here’s a scorecard of the current contenders for Democratic president 2020.

Bottom line: Front-runner wins, everybody else GTFO! I dress it up in my characteristic snark, of course, but the nut of the matter is we lost 2016 because the only thing a Democrat seems to hate worse than a Republican is another Democrat. When Republicans are onstage, all I hear are people ripping up Democrats. When Democrats are on stage, all I hear are people ripping up Democrats. We need allies, not saboteurs.

I don’t care who’s polling at the top, if it’s a fireplug, everybody else needs to bow out, shut up, drop out, and throw their support behind the fireplug! This is the easiest election to win ever! All you have to do is present a united front.

Bill Maher points it out: “All the Democrats have to do is come off LESS CRAZY THAN TRUMP and of course they’re blowing it!”

Please, people, save your petty little tent agendas for some other year. This is a life and death election. We are amidst a Cold Civil War. Our nation’s soul is at stake. The Titanic is sinking and Democrats can’t stop fighting over how to redecorate the underwater ballroom.

 

New at 123ish: Items of Devotion for Alternative Religion + Join My Cult!

So this was a weird experimental post based on my starting an argument in which I held the position that you can make an Amazon product list out of anything. “Anything?” they said. “Anything, just pick something,” I said. So they said “something for the spiritual category.” And then I was naming the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Bob J.R. Dobbs and they went “Wait a minute, maybe this isn’t such a good idea.” But I said “Too late! Things have been set in motion which cannot be undone!”

And that’s how we got a list of Best Devotional Items For Alternative Religions. With a bonus section where I introduce my own alternative religion: the Cult of the Temponaut! I hope one day to have my cult grow to a world-wide viral phenomenon, just like all the wacky cults we deal with already. I mean, mine is mostly benevolent and nobody can get hurt in it, right? Ah well, we’ll find out, omelets and eggs.

Just remember, physicists have reversed time already using a quantum computer. That’s how you get Temponauts! Start showing them respect before you have to deal with them all at once.

You know what I haven’t blogged about in awhile? LINUX!

Anybody out there remember the elder days of yore on the web, when I was one of the few bloggers to talk about Linux and FOSS? I figured it’s time to update distro recommends for a new generation. So here’s the top five Linux distros for every kind of user.
As usual, I dodged the trendy meme distros in favor of time-honored practical systems for anybody from the most clueless newbie to the salty veteran power user. Wow, it has been a long time!

Follow on for one of my classic Linux essays, the final battle report of the Microsoft vs. Linux wars:

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New at 123ish: The day social media did something right for once

Look, down in the dump! It’s #trashtag, the social media challenge that made people realize they could use tag games for good! No longer do they have to choke down spoonfuls of cinnamon or run around blindfolded staggering into traffic. They can help clean up public places and score Internet up-arrows at the same time.

It’s small, but it’s progress. baby steps, baby steps.

Random links related to things I’ve said about social media before:

 

New at 366Weird: Eating Raoul (1982)

At long last, I got the opportunity to vindicate this gonzo cannibal comedy for the brilliant social satire it was: Light-years ahead of its time. I offer Eating Raoul (1982) as a candidate for the Weird Movies’ List apocrypha.

Paul Bartel was writer, director, and co-lead, which makes this probably his magnum opus in his too-short career. But for what few opportunities he did find, Paul Bartel was a master of deadpan black comedy, albeit a little too reserved for the tastes of modern audiences.

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Two IMGUR Galleries Revisit Nightmares Of 20th-Century Kitsch

I don’t mean to gripe, but Millennials sure demand a lot of attention. There’s twenty stories about them per day; they’re killing this thing, they’re embracing that thing, they have it tough because this, they react because that.

Meanwhile, Generation X is over here passed over both ways. We got a couple minutes in the spotlight in the 1990s and that was the end of us. Which suits most of us, but when I keep hearing about how rotten the Millennials have it, that’s the part I get sick of hearing about. Money did not rain from the sky before Millennials were born. Somehow I jumped directly from the have-nots line to the “privileged elite” line while still being the same broke-ass slacker I was in 1990.

As an example of Generation X gripes we never got the chance to air, I present “Kitschy Nightmares From Satan’s Thrift Store” and “Vintage Magazine Ads,” both wry observations of pop culture in the mid-20th century. This, kids, is what your poor papa and mama had to live through. Which is why we’re so funny.

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New at 123ish.com: It’s Time To Embrace The Bio-Tech Age!

We live in a dark new age of science denial. From anti-vaxxers to anti-GMO to climate change denial, science is under attack on so many fronts at once that the prospect of progress seems doomed. And in the middle of all that, I’m demanding that we go full warp speed ahead on bio-technology.

Yes, we may have a bumpy path resolving some of the stickier ethical questions of genetic engineering and cloning, but it’s a journey well worth taking if it rewards us with cures for disease, better agriculture, and perhaps a cure for human rock-headedness. Dare to dream!

More of my pro-science advocacy:

 

New at 123ish: If Anybody Cared About Climate Change, We Could Have Solved It By Now

What do we do about climate change? Stop setting things on fire, duh! Start using alternative energy everywhere instead of fossil fuels. It’s not a “tomorrow” technology, as I point out, we’re had solar and wind power licked for years, even decades.

I’d just like to point out on my local Iowa scene: MidAmerican is at 50% renewable energy and is making plans to go 100%. They can’t do this without real estate to park the wind turbines, however, so please, folks, let’s be tolerant of a few wind turbines in the neighborhood if it means cheaper energy bills, less dependence on fossil fuels, and a happy, healthy planet? Small sacrifice, right? I’ve visited wind turbines, they’re not that bad to live near.

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If You’re Mad At Bill Maher For What He Said About Comic Books, Come At Me

Let’s wade into some more controversy with the latest Internet temper tantrum: Bill Maher’s remarks on comic book fandom after the death of Stan Lee. While his timing is admittedly tone-deaf, his impression is spot on, however poorly articulated. I crack into the nut of the matter: toxic fan bases.

Don’t you hate it when you’re just enjoying some work of media just because you happen to like it, and some raving idiot out there has to ruin it for everybody? That’s what we have here.

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