Big whoopie, I’m a food blogger now! Well, OK, we’ve gotta fill categories somehow, so it’s been food a couple times. I am far from the only blogger online to rave about the Mediterranean Diet, but it’s the only sensible diet there is to find with real research to back it up.
Naturally, sticking to the Mediterranean Diet is just about the most anti-American thing you can do. Walk home from the store with a bottle of actual olive oil (easier said than done) and a bag of kale and pick-ups like these:
will follow you down the street yelling “FAGGIT!” So I go into how American food culture is one big conspiracy to keep you tubby as a hippo. This brings us to a very topical subject…
Ah, Denver International Airport! Nothing adds spice to the most controversial – and most expensive – public works project in history like decorating it with Nazi murals, demonic horses, grimacing gargoyles, and Freemason symbols. Join me on a tour of DIA, as we delve into the mysteries surrounding this nexus of nuttiness.
Bottom line: Front-runner wins, everybody else GTFO! I dress it up in my characteristic snark, of course, but the nut of the matter is we lost 2016 because the only thing a Democrat seems to hate worse than a Republican is another Democrat. When Republicans are onstage, all I hear are people ripping up Democrats. When Democrats are on stage, all I hear are people ripping up Democrats. We need allies, not saboteurs.
I don’t care who’s polling at the top, if it’s a fireplug, everybody else needs to bow out, shut up, drop out, and throw their support behind the fireplug! This is the easiest election to win ever! All you have to do is present a united front.
Bill Maher points it out: “All the Democrats have to do is come off LESS CRAZY THAN TRUMP and of course they’re blowing it!”
Please, people, save your petty little tent agendas for some other year. This is a life and death election. We are amidst a Cold Civil War. Our nation’s soul is at stake. The Titanic is sinking and Democrats can’t stop fighting over how to redecorate the underwater ballroom.
What do we do about climate change? Stop setting things on fire, duh! Start using alternative energy everywhere instead of fossil fuels. It’s not a “tomorrow” technology, as I point out, we’re had solar and wind power licked for years, even decades.
I’d just like to point out on my local Iowa scene: MidAmerican is at 50% renewable energy and is making plans to go 100%. They can’t do this without real estate to park the wind turbines, however, so please, folks, let’s be tolerant of a few wind turbines in the neighborhood if it means cheaper energy bills, less dependence on fossil fuels, and a happy, healthy planet? Small sacrifice, right? I’ve visited wind turbines, they’re not that bad to live near.
You think you’ve heard it all about this story, but did you hear about the time traveler theory? The killer mutant robot squid-octopus? The slave-children of Mars? I rounded up more crazy theories than a Russian hooker can pee on. If you’re scared from realizing you don’t know what’s truth and what’s fiction anymore – you’re not nearly scared enough!
If the Star Trek franchise paints our future under the Federation as, to quote one editorial, “Bernie Sanders on steroids,” then where does that leave competing nerd franchise Star Wars? Under the oppressive thumb of a big bad authoritarian Empire or under the slightly-less-crushing domain of a centuries-old religion guarded by mystics in drab cloaks carrying funny colored sticks, that’s where!
We are not living in a dystopia. We are not approaching a dystopia. We are not just around the corner from approaching anything like a dystopia. You can tell you’re not living in a dystopia if you’re able to read this, and you’re well-fed, clothed, warm, relatively safe at the moment, and free to reply with whatever babbling pops into your head.
In the herein linked post, I debunk Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four (I refuse to express it numerically) and all the other dystopian literature along with it. Let us stop the paranoia and focus on the real world problems right in front of us for a change.
ADDENDUM: It’s an election year coming up in the states, so the dystopian mob frenzy is boiling over on the web more than usual. This post allegedly by Aldous Huxley is making the rounds lately:
Now that we have that out of the way: This bit of text is a perfect example of a logical fallacy. It tells you that you are always living in a dictatorship no matter what. Even if you are perfectly happy with no problems anywhere, by this quote’s circular reasoning, that’s all the more reason why you’re “enslaved.” No one can postulate any state of being outside of open anarchy (which can also be defined as a “prison without walls”) that does not match this quote’s definition of a dictatorship. If you have walls, open shutdown of democracy, and do dream of escaping, that’s a dictatorship too.
Originally published 2007, part of a series I did for a biography website. Can’t even remember who now, but it’s long gone.
Oleg Deripaska was once the tenth richest billionaire in the world, with a personal net worth around $28 billion USD. He has since been knocked back to $3.3 billion in the wake of the 2007-08 Great Recession. He has also been the richest person in all of Russia and the Chairman of the Board – not the CEO – of United Company RusAl (Russian Aluminum), the world’s largest aluminum company.
