Straight to the point: I care about the environment. I care about climate change. I believe in science.
Do you people also care about the environment? Good, then we are on the same page. We should be friends. But we are not. You are all going to hate me because I’m about to tell you something you don’t like to hear, but you need to hear.
You’ve been going about environmentalism the wrong way!
This makes me angry, nay, fist-clenching furious. Can everybody understand this concept, or have I lost you naive little blueberries already? You can have good intentions, and still do bad things because your method is wrong. Try to sit down and allow that thought to penetrate for a minute before you go on.
Let’s test you on how much you really care about global warming. Put your ego away and learn how to make real progress happen:
- Are you tired of high gas/petrol prices at the pump? The World Solar Challenge has been holding solar-powered car races since 1987 in Australia. Powering cars with the big glowy thing in the sky is CHEAPER than powering them with dinosaur juice.
- Countries all over the world are switching to 100% renewable public power, such as hydropower, geothermal, wind, solar, and biomass. Renewable energy is CHEAPER than setting things on fire.
- Studies have shown that solar-plus-storage power alone is 50% CHEAPER than burning coal.
- Solar powered backpacks are for sale on Amazon as cheap as $40. You have a backpack with panels, a storage battery, and an outlet. You can charge up your phone, tablet, or laptop, the most common gadgets you use. This is CHEAPER than charging off house current.
- Forbes agrees: Renewable energy is now the CHEAPEST option, even without subsidies. Don’t look now, but technology has kind of improved this situation a bit over the past few decades, so it no longer needs subsidy assistance.
Now then: What was the common adjective among all the above bullet points? I tried to make it easy for you. The common link is that renewable energy has gotten amazingly CHEAP in the past few years. Forgive my condescension, but this is kinda freaking important, the world is melting fast over here.
Green Energy needs a name change to CHEAP Energy
Don’t let the pain of the year 2020 be for nothing. Learn from it, adapt, overcome. What we need to learn from the year 2020 (and many a year before, come to it) is the public HATES the truth; they want to be fed a comforting sales pitch that makes them feel good. Saving money feels good.
Trying to phrase the global climate debate in terms of science, reason, rationality is a waste of time. It needs to stop right now. Bringing up science just gives the Neanderthals an excuse to yell you down with ignorance. They know the world is blowing up; they are doing it on purpose. Invoke their personal, direct selfishness instead of crying to them to think of the poor baby polar bears.
The tambourine-banging hippies with their stupid Baby Boomer Woodstock protests don’t get shit done. Business gets it done.
Nobody argues with “cheap.” Those utility bills keep coming in the mail every month. We’re in an economic crisis now thanks to COVID-19. The time is perfect for a strategy pivot.
Don’t mention the “science” part, sshhhhh! Keep the “S” word a secret. Start advocating CHEAP Energy. Cheap cheap cheap. Use as much cheap energy as visibly as you can and take every opportunity to brag about how much money you’re saving. Lobby your utilities to switch to cheap energy and then lobby them to pass the savings down to the consumer. Demand support for electric vehicles powered by cheap energy.
Talking to their wallet is the only language these grunting ape-people in the Red Zones understand. If we’d gotten Capitalism involved in this fight sooner, we could be exploring the galaxy by now.
The first step to recovering from a Dark Age is admitting that you’re in one. We’re in one. Use our experience in understanding the flaws of human nature to work around it.
That’s it, that’s my big plan to save the world.
If you look around you, all of the progress in environmentalism we’ve made so far has been based in Capitalist forces. We recycle because aluminum is CHEAPER to melt down from cans than it is to mine out of the ground. Utility companies are switching to renewable energy because it is CHEAPER. Windmills are CHEAPER, that’s why we’re starting to see them.
Look what economic advocacy did for ending cannabis prohibition. Everyone resists cannabis legalization until they see the legal states rolling around in a big money pit, and now every election sees a handful of states legalizing with more to come. If money in your pocket can overcome decades of institutionalized racism, it can save the Earth too.
Thank you for coming to my TEDx talk. Call me back when you want peace in the Middle East.
