Penguin Pete, Author at Penguin Pete's Greatest Hits

News At 366 Weird Movies – I’m in a book!

A few of my reviews whirled by over at 366 Weird Movies while I was too busy with other things (week off for Father’s Day and all that). To catch up:

CAPSULE: AGAINST THE CLOCK (2019) – A messy mish-mosh of cyberpunk spy thriller themes, as half-baked as the sloppy CGI fractals and hyperactive jump cuts that frame this abortion of a film.

CAPSULE: KEOMA (1976) – Could have been a contender for the last great spaghetti western, but is ruined by the Soundtrack From Hell. Yes, you heard right, and you’ll wish you’d never heard. You’re asking of course, how bad can this possibly be? Here’s a sample. Now imagine that crotch-splitting abomination going on for the ENTIRE MOVIE. That’s right, it never shuts up, a continuous Greek chorus obliterating every serious moment for the 105 minute run-time.

CAPSULE: HARD TICKET TO HAWAII (1987) – A harmless descendant of Miami Vice, with lots of booby cheesecake and a loose story that has something impenetrable to do with a snake, a toilet, a blow-up doll, a skateboard, and a razor-edged Frisbee.

But let’s get to the important part

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New at 123ish: Unique Desktop Toys For Office Fun

I don’t miss much about the corporate 9-to-5 (cubicle slave #X197532), but one thing I do get nostalgic for is all the dumb things people would do to amuse themselves to alleviate office tedium. I did a whole review of unique recommendations for office desktop toys. These are all non-electronic diversions too, so you can rest your bloodshot eyes from glowing screens too.

The pic is, of course, from Terry Gilliam’s epic 1985 film Brazil. Sam Lowry (Jonathan Pryce) twiddles with this decision toy with ‘yes’ on one side and ‘no’ on the other, with a weight that drops onto a wedge to randomly fall on either side. It’s a perfect metaphor for the movie’s dystopian universe, where everybody endures only having the illusion of free will. It’s where, for all the good anything does you, you might as well go through life making random decisions.

Always wanted to find this toy in real life, but probably not looking in the right place. In the meantime, check out my recommended list, you’ll find many surprises!

New at Spookwire: Five Horror Movies Inspired By True Events

I’m sure my steady readers will be familiar with my taste for horror movies. My latest shingle is hung over at Spookwire, a site dedicated to the paranormal and eerie events of all kinds.

Join us this time for 5 Terrifying Horror Movies Inspired By True Events! You were expecting the Winchester Mystery House or the Dyatlov Pass Incident… but what is Freddy Kruger doing there?

Click on for bonus buck content…

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Spookwire: The Eerie Mystery Of Phantom Social Workers

Hold onto your prayer beads, late-night browsers, because I’ve got a new gig that’s destined to scare the wits out of you! I’ll be blogging for Spookwire, a new site dedicated to the creepy, unexplained, and paranormal. From horror movies to conspiracy theories and every real-life intrigue in between, if it’s spooky, we do it!

So to one of our opening posts: The Eerie Mystery Of Phantom Social Workers. This has been a real-life event in the UK and US, and was related to a media circus on both sides of the pond. I touch on the US Satanic Panic of the 1980s and 1990s, with the McMartin Preschool “trial,” and the gigantic Scotland Yard investigation over in the UK.

In brief, parents have reported home visits from people claiming to be social workers, who examine the home and threaten to take away the kids. But later calls to the government reveal no such persons worked there and no social welfare visits scheduled. So where do they come from, and what do they want? It’s a chilling question with some alarming theories to answer it.

New at 123ish: The Biggest and Best Lego Sets Ever

Hey, I never did get around to writing about Legos! I loved them, my kids loved them, and there’s a nice wholesome culture of Lego hobbyists and collectors out there. So I thought I’d round up the most impressive sets released in Lego history and blog about them. Good luck tracking them down, some of these are highly sought-after collector’s items!

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You know what I haven’t blogged about in awhile? LINUX!

Anybody out there remember the elder days of yore on the web, when I was one of the few bloggers to talk about Linux and FOSS? I figured it’s time to update distro recommends for a new generation. So here’s the top five Linux distros for every kind of user.
As usual, I dodged the trendy meme distros in favor of time-honored practical systems for anybody from the most clueless newbie to the salty veteran power user. Wow, it has been a long time!

Follow on for one of my classic Linux essays, the final battle report of the Microsoft vs. Linux wars:

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New at 366Weird: The Manitou!

Over at 366 Weird, my latest cinematic safari is a special treat: The Manitou (1978). A serious contender for the campiest Exorcist ripoff ever made, it’s a thrill ride of one “WTF?” moment piled onto another.

Whose idea was it to cast Tony Curtis in the lead? Who decided “native American medicine man” is a close-enough substitute for Catholic demons? Why did the 400-year-old medicine man pick this woman out of the blue to incubate his neck-rupturing reincarnation? Why did they go with a frozen hospital with meat-popsicle nurses frozen mid-wave? Why is this suddenly turning into 2001: A Space Odyssey? And why is it always black magic or white magic, doesn’t magic come in any other colors? We will never know, but even the late, great Roger Ebert had to warn people to set down their coffee before continuing the review.

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I Reviewed a Fistful of Giallos at 366Weird

OK, if two Giallo movies count as “a fistful,” that’s how many I covered at 366Weird lately and haven’t had the time to blog-blab about it yet. Forgive me if I burrow under the icebergs once in awhile, I am a busy penguin. That’s reviews of The Fifth Cord (1971) and All the Colors of the Dark (1972).

I loves me some Giallo, so much so that the editors at 366Weird pretty much leave everything in that genre up to me now. Even though I’ll be the first to admit that Giallo movies are often hokey, derivative, and usually out of their mind, I can’t get enough of the atmosphere, arty filming, and pulp fiction vibe from this charming little corner of cinema.

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A Magic: The Gathering shopper’s guide

Conventional wisdom among spike tournament players is that you NEVER, ever ever buy boxed MTG products or even booster packs. Yeah, but like all absolutes, isn’t that not always true? Here, I define some of the typical boxed products that at least come close to a decent value for the money, pointing out the “Best Magic! the Gathering Sealed Products.”

And I’m of course speaking as a collector and player myself. Strategic MTG investment has worked almost like a second career with me over the years. Keeping an eye out for good value purchases I can break up and sell for individual value helps me stay in the game, even on my pauper-level freelancer budget!

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New Review at 366Weird: Dark Star (1974)

After far, far too long a time, I finally popped the movie Dark Star (1974) off the reader-requested review queue at 366 Weird Movies. Not only is it a long-standing cult favorite for being the first theatrical release for both John Carpenter and Dan O’Bannon when they were still film students, it’s also a quirky and unique sci-fi comedy whose “hippies in space” motif is just enough to flirt with the list of weirdest movies of all time.

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