You could say the same for every day of the cursed year of 2020, but my timeline seems to have been particularly dark since reviewing – and being bit by – Cultist Simulator. It was indeed a fit spooky choice for October, which dragged me through the month as I’ve tried to keep up my horror viewing in the middle of everything else.
Is Ignite Cannabis Co. trying to tell us something?
At my stoner DabConnection gig, we’ve become the freelance police of the cannabis industry busting fake brands of THC vape cartridges left and right. But this time I got interested in a real brand managed by an Instagram influencer Dan Bilzerian, though “real” and “managed” are both up for debate. The brand has raised millions in investor funding and squandered millions more with Bilzerian apparently going through the most hysterical public midlife-crisis ever. We’re talking $50 million in 2019 alone!
What has me tripping hooves is the goat motif. A goat head is the logo for his company, it’s on all his brands, one of his THC cart varieties is just labeled “goat” for the flavor, and there are paintings of goats on the walls of his mansion as well as photos of him dragging a goat to bed.
Hence my new nickname for him, “Goat-Man.” Note there on the Instagram post in question, one visitor comments:
> “I’m sure you get more pleasure from that in your bed than the females you ‘say’ you screw.”
Sick BURRRRRN! That’s talking about the way this dude blows piles of money having himself photographed buried under piles of nude porn stars. There are dozens of these photo ops! It’s like if he has enough pictures of himself in an oily pit of women, he’s convince us all that he is a stud. Which isn’t relevant to what the public really wants to know, as opposed to “how is this company with tens of millions of dollars from investors being run?”
Let us just say, I’m not the only person to have said bad things about him. He’s basically been dragged through salty gravel by the video blogsphere at large lately. A quick YouTube search will find tons more.
Anyway, the stories of this guy’s exploits are legendary, which is kind of the point with Instagram influencers. But investment magazines are not amused, calling him a fraud, while his legal troubles include him allegedly kicking a woman in the face, allegedly throwing another woman off a roof, and allegedly being arrested at LAX with bomb making materials. No really, RTFA, I link to everything, official sources!
Incidentally, you know how many black market counterfeit vape cartridges I can find of Dan Bilzerian’s Ignite Cannabis brand? ZERO! Normally with a “lifestyle brand” like this, there would be counterfeits all over, attracted by the hype. But even the thieving black market bootleggers in China know that there is zero demand for Ignite vapes. They can smell the goat from China.
I single Dan Bilzerian out as every problem in the cannabis industry and “influencer” culture all at once. But then, just when I thought I was finished with goats…
The real-life Ghostbusters are the Ghost Club, UK
This photo is Harry Price, paranormal investigator and only one of many colorful characters I uncovered when I wrote up the real-life Ghostbusters : Ghost Club UK. Their membership extends back to the 1800s with members such as Charles Babbage, Charles Dickens, and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. They’re still in operation today, you can become a member, and they have a Twitter feed.
Harry Price there joined the Ghost Club with his own damn vampire kit, and was instrumental in debunking a lot of superstitious hoodoo in his time. That’s why he’s dragging a goat into this magic circle to perform a black magic ritual. He was trying to prove to the public that black magic doesn’t work. Since the ritual did not, indeed, work, we can conclude that it does not.
I say he should have tried to exorcise Goat-Man. But alas, missed connection over the centuries.
Not only was legendary actor Peter Cushing a member, but several notable authors of the time took part in Ghost Club shenanigans too. I dive into the motivations for some of the less-expected members, only to discover sad, grieving people who kept up hope for loved ones to emerge from the spirit world.
The post became far less funny at that point. It hit me in the gut. In the freelance blogging business, every now and then you get a piece that changes you. My exploration into the Ghost Club taught me that some people who believe in crazy things are not crazy or stupid, but hurting. They are in pain and can’t deal with reality, so they retreat into madness around just that part of their grief, as an oyster secretes aragonite around an irritant, while leaving their logic and sanity intact for the rest of their life.
You know, when I lose somebody, I curl up on the floor and bawl my ass off. I don’t bottle anything up. It’s coming out now. It doesn’t scare me. I have a blind side for other people’s fear and unwillingness to deal with reality, because that’s a completely alien line of reasoning to me. That’s one of the parts that makes me weird.
More occult fun: an occult dump on IMGUR!
Finally, I giggle at other users attempting to post “ooo spookies!” Every Halloween I feel obligated to show IMGUR how to do it right, so this year I dumped out an occult history gallery with lots of captions and links. Comments loved it.
Again I should reiterate that I am at one with Robert Anton Wilson: I have no beliefs, but I have many suspicions. I collect occult esoterica not because I believe it, but because people who do believe it fascinate me. That’s pretty much why I collect everything. I don’t agree with your religions, theories, and bullshit, nor do I defend the right for you to have them, but I will defend my own right to gawp at your like the hideous sideshow freak that you are.
And in closing:
Nobody in Iowa:
Mid-October: pic.twitter.com/U6xg1nTLJe
— Penguin Pete 🐧 (@Penguin_Pete) October 19, 2020
