There’s this new attitude out there that a “blogger” equals a stay-at-home mom who posts recipes for gorgonzola milkshakes accompanied by pages-long rants about how she did not turn into her mother. I mean just look at the #blogger tag on Twitter. Everything is safe, cozy, filled with Pinterest snaps, tranquil.
That is not how I work. That is not what I am about. You will never catch me, for any amount of money, doting on homemade hummus yogurt or embroidery patterns to stitch “life, laugh, love” on your toilet seat cover.
I blog with my fists. I am on a holy mission to spread enlightenment to the world, and the way I do that is by beating the stupid out of people one concrete skull at a time. I love my job.
See how much…
Myths and Facts about Drug Testing (Cannabis)
We have an unusual situation here in the US right now: Cannabis is legalized to some degree in all but about a dozen states now (yay!) but employers still test for cannabis along with the rest of the drug spectrum (ugh). With all the confusion going on out there, I posted an in-depth study of the current state of drug-testing and cannabis.
And here’s the bottom line: Yes, EVERYTHING to do with cannabis will make you fail a drug test too, even CBD and Delta 8 and whatever extracted terpenes. You can fail a drug screen just by thinking about pot too hard when you’re peeing in the cup. Also, no “detox” measures work, they’re all quackery. Modern drug testing is so advanced they can find out if your great-grandmother toked a joint once.
Pictured: fake urine. That’s right, you can buy bottles of synthetic pee, and still fail because the drug test can tell that, and also tell the expiration date on your debit card when you ordered it.
What does this mean for the employment scene? It means employers are rapidly dropping the drug screen step altogether, because employment figures are so skewed right now that they are desperate for warm bodies, and nobody can pass that damn drug screen unless they were born Mormon and raised in a sealed Mason jar.
Oh and hey, if you’re here for cannabis culture, treat yourself to my IMGUR gallery of random cannabis facts. It’s like a round-up of half my explorations into this cockeyed industry and all the clowns running it. Lightweight scrolling satisfaction for low-calorie browsing.
While you’re here, you might also want to see the flip side of drug enforcement: Actual raids of unlicensed cannabis businesses. As many as we report on, you’d think they were left to infest the industry. But in fact, the BCC busts a few every month, just in California alone. Bonus buck: Muha Meds raid!
I Made More Hearthstone Guides
Considering how antagonistic is the relation between Blizzard Entertainment and literally every device I run, it’s weird how much free documentation I provide them. Like for instance, their new achievement / experience / rewards system is more complicated than Klingon algebra. Most players have given up ever understanding it, but I penetrated it to give you a guide for wringing XP out of the Hearthstone system. It’s the XP that you want, that gets you more cards. The AP is worthless chaff, ignore it.
While I’m at it, no Hearthstone player of any experience level should miss my guide to Hearthstone deck archetypes, which cuts through the chattering nonsense online to nail down the actual terms and what they actually mean, along with – gasp, shock, faint, coma! – tips on how to play them!
On the other hand, feel free to miss my Hearthstone Battlegrounds hero guide, because that thing is impossible to keep up to date. Blizzard has pulled a dozen characters off that list and added a dozen dozen more since then.
The Search For Intelligent Internet Life
History being the dead subject that it is, most of you will be electrically shocked to know that there was life before social media. But going back decades, online discussion communities came and went, and they most definitely have not gotten it right by now. I document my search for an online discussion platform that is not exactly like catching a load from a shit cannon to the face.
Sit down for this one, but I might have even found out THE ANSWER TO HOW TO FIX THE INTERNET! It’s in a forgotten little multi-blog social link-sharing site that manages to avoid spam, trolls, stalking, harassment, shills, fake news, political flamewars, and most kinds of shitposts too!
And the secret is so effortless, it is obvious that this is the future of the Internet. You heard it here first.
Obligatory Boof Movie Review
You Internet trolls out there continue to stuff the inbox at 366WeirdMovies with movie suggestions that are not even remotely weird, but of course everything is “weird” to a brainless vegetable who was born minutes ago. And so we of the review staff will continue being sent on wild snail chases to review perfectly ordinary, boring, humdrum movies like Castle of the Creeping Flesh. This movie is so tame that we had to award it a Snowflake of the Day trophy and feed it avocado toast so it didn’t feel too bad about itself and commit karmacide.
The one saving grace is that this is a very obscure movie so at least I hadn’t seen it before (trolls stuffed the inbox with The Matrix every day until the site maintainer wrote an auto-reject script). That being said, it is also a German horror film from the 20th century, an extreme rarity. I document why in the review (hint: the Germans in the 20th didn’t need to see horror on the big screen).
As always, I have to abruptly end this post because it is time to go write for somebody else again. Was there a moral to this string of recent exploits? I leave it to you to find them.
