Other sites teach and advocate FOSS; I just pound it into your head.

The Revolution Will Not Be Blogged

Date/Time Permalink: 12/22/11 11:10:17 am
Category: Humor

You will have to log off, Anonymous.
You will not be able to blaze a tree with the other Ents at 4:20PM.
You will not be able to fap to porn
While consuming greasy fistfuls of bacon-flavored Cheetos on the couch,
Because the revolution will not be blogged.

The revolution will not be blogged.
The revolution will not be modded +5 insightful on Slashdot
And score over-9000 points of karma on the front page of Reddit.com.
The revolution will not join you for a multiplayer round of Diablo 2
Accompanied by a Necromancer who summons skeletons and golems
And a level 23 paladin with a heal aura.
The revolution will not be blogged.

The revolution will not be broadcast on YouTube or Hulu.com
Starring Numa-Numa Kid and Leroy Jenkins singing along with Keyboard Cat.
The revolution will not become your fan on Facebook.
The revolution will not be retweeted.
The revolution will not show up on the first page of results
Above the fold on Google,
Because the revolution will not be blogged.

There will be no pictures of LOLCats screaming
"OMG it's a revolution! Get in the car!"
Or Rage comics about the FUUUUUU-volution scrolling by on Tumblr.
TechCrunch will not make the blog post
Announcing the revolution to 4,926 commenters.
The revolution will not be blogged.

There will be no PDF document of the revolution seeded on BitTorrent.
There will be no PDF document of the revolution seeded on BitTorrent.
There will be no animated GIFs of Heath Ledger
Flying to atheist heaven in the Ron Paul money-bomb blimp.
There will be no Flash animations of Dennis Kucinich
Riding a pair of Narwhals through a flock of Angry Birds
In a red-white-and-blue Creeper costume
That he has been saving for just the proper occasion.

Glenn Beck, Rupert Murdoch, and FOX News
Will see their rating plummet, and
No one will care to sign the online petition
To make the BP oil spill disappear through
The magical power of Internet petulance,
Because even the Javascript programmers
Will be outside experiencing sunlight for the first time.
The revolution will not be blogged.

There will be no photo-pool on Flickr with
Snapshots of Batman and Iron Man planking on the steps of the Capitol
And Nicolas Cage with a bucket of bees on his head.
The revolution will not be programmed in Ruby on Rails,
Python, .NET, HTML5, or PHP,
And will not be drawn in Photoshop, Gimp, Corel Draw, or Adobe Illustrator.
The revolution will not be blogged.

The revolution will not be available as a ringtone for $2.99
When you subscribe to another four years of your AT&T service plan.
You will not need to be concerned about the revolution Rickrolling you,
Installing malware, or sending you a phishing email.
The revolution will not Occupy Wall Street.
The revolution will not make Milhouse a meme.
The revolution WILL be watching you masturbate!

The revolution will not be blogged, will not be blogged,
Will not be blogged, will not be blogged,
The revolution will not be copy-pasta.
The revolution will be in the real world.

(With apologies to, deepest respect for, and fondest memories of Gil Scott-Heron)

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