Update: Oh, alright, here's the translation for the non-cryptographically inclined.
In the rec3nt p4st, I wuz a Linux expert. Wh3n new-comers 2 Linux came
to me 2 ask perf3ctly n4tural questions l1k "How do I turn it on?",
"Why doesn't it talk back when I yell into the microphone thingy with
the little ball and two buttons on it?", and "Is the menu button on
the right side or left side of the taskbar? I forgot!" And 1 wud 4lw4z
t3ll th3m "RTFM". Well, somebody pointed out 2 m3 that doing that was
pretty rude, and i h4v s33n th3 l1gh7. I h4v qu1t b31ng a Linux expert
and jo1ned th3 n3wbz, and I'm inviting 0th3r Linux geeks 2 join me.
If you will uph0ld th1s 04th w1th m3e3e, w3 can mak ths a n1c3r
world. Please sw34r 2 th foll0w1ng 1337 pact and s1gn th1s petition
and p4$$ 17 0n 2 0ther L1nux Uzrs U n0:
(1) Eye pr0mise n3ver again to say "RTFM" to NE-1 again. It izz 2 h4rd
4 peeps 2 do and it m4kes th3m agry. I ackn0wl3dg th4t 1t iz mi
fawlt 4 h0lding Linux back, Bcuz ov 4ll th33z t1mes I sed "RTFM".
(2) Eye will st0p reading NE manuals or b00ks or ejukashunal
matireealz uf NE k1nd, B-cuz it m4kes m3 2 stuck-up. Eye w1l st0p
uzzing th33 cumm4nd lYnn and st0p uzzing man p4ges and 1nfo filez
and d0cbookz and 0ther k1nds uff d0cyoum3ntayshun, too. Th4t stuff
izz 4 3litist sn0bz.
(3) Eye w1ll als0 not ryt docz 4 my pr0gr4mz, b-cuz its 2 h4rd 2 mak
peeps r33d thum. Wh3n wee standard1z on a chat pr0gram that uzzez
the mous to click the butt0ns 2 the onlE twelve 0r s0 wurdz that U
n33d in ch4t, I w1ll effen thro out Mi k3ybord, s0 th4t eye nevver
contribuT 2 th3 3gghe4d3dn3$$ uff the werld agin.
(4) Eye w1ll alzo st0p uzzing G00gle 4 my searchez, and w1ll stop
telling peeps that thay c4n f1nd th3 answ3r 2 ther queshchun on
G00gle. It iz unfare of m3 2 uz my 3liti$t surch-engen-uzing
sk1llz 2 h4v an adv4ntage 0ver th0se HOO don't no h0w 2 uz
Pleez cl1ck thee eks butt0n 2 sine:
N0w 4-w4rd th1s dokyoument 2 efry g33k U no. 2g3th3r we c4n st4mp out
th1s plagg ov l1t3rassie. S1ns33rl33, http://www.penguinpetes.com/
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