and ladies, if you can't stand the geek you're with, use something like mobilealibi.com to get out of the date you're on. At least their inner geek will respect you when you use an automated service to give you an alibi.

Have to agree here, Ill be sending this to my GF for sure :}

She will hate #4 though haha

Man, #5 is so true, and saddly impossible to reduce :(

Oh fantastic. I believe those ladies must really read this!!!

Oh fantastic. I believe those ladies must really read this!!!
http://www.neohide.com

We have these kind of girls plenty in Nigeria and they rock.

We have these kind of girls plenty in Nigeria and they rock.

Hey dorkbutt, what makes you think the rules for straight geeks are different for gays? Do you think the bar-hopping Queer Eye guys have any clue how to woo a nerd? No; they're the equivalent of the popular frat boy. Duh, when it comes to geek there's no diff between straight and gay.

Asshole :)

great - a list of things YOU want, not other geeks.

before you write the definitive list of how to get a geek, maybe you should talk to some first.

and your gay/lesbian remarks reeked of homophobia. sad.

I have to disagree with #3. Being intelligent and having the capability to out-code a geek causes his insecurities about "his masculinity" to flair up like a nuclear reactor at Chernobyl. Ladies, don't listen to this. I liken dating geeks (have made this mistake a few times) to having a giant vacuum to your head and body taking all of your energy, fun, love for granted and you end up spending months on a couch with video games and his 'buds'.

When he won't go hiking with you or to a concert, go out with your friends and have fun. His loss when he looks up weeks later after finally upping to that next level to realize that he's surrounded by empty pizza boxes and Bawls bottles instead of fun-loving friends and a girl.


I will say this. If he's a nerd/geek, don't date him. Don't try to change him. Don't try to change any man. He won't do it. Let them be.

Metalchick, bitter are we? Not all geeky type guys are like the type of guy you describe. You've probably just dated the wrong type of guys who would be a good match _for you_.

Good post, Pete!

My wife will love it. !! I have her send to all her friends she keeps trying to "hook up" with mine,

I've been married to a Geek for 6 years, and we dated for 5 before we were wed.

All of these points are well-stated, and true to my hubby (at least for the most part).

He is kind, thoughtful, loving, considerate, and an all-around wonderful person.

Thanks, Pete for sharing, and putting it in to words.

I'm 23... Never ever had any kind of social oppertunity where I could get a girl. My parents says I have them but I never notice when a female tries to hit on me.

How the hell am I suppose to get a woman when I can't even notice that they are hitting on me? I don't dare to just approach every random person in town to tell them I'm going to see a movie, "hint, hint..."

Any recommendations?

Very interesting article.
I linked it on my blog (which nobody knows). A must read for people curious about it.

lol very good i'll have to send it to my missis

also i think some people need to carm down its just abit of fun try not to take it to seriously. also the acussations of homiphobia are totaly unjustifyed all he said is MOST geeks aren't gay, whats wrong with that?

Sir,
This info is very very true. My hubby is the ultimate Geek, but thankfully am able to get him out from behind that bloody computer some times. I was a female Geek a while back, which is how we met. He is the most wonderful, caring, loving, generous, supportive, loyal, etc person I have ever met. Remember ladies, do NOT judge a book by tis cover, you may be missing out on a great Guy/Geek... Cheeres! btw, my hubby sent this link to me.

Moderated: +1 Insightful

lord metroid i didnt have a relationship/sex until i was 23. barely even had a conversation. i think people that are very shy are just at a major disadvantage and you have to either force yourself to do unpleasant things or accept that it won't happen

personally i've only asked 1 person out, maybe 2. but i've had about 8 relationships. usually they hit on me a lot, enough to overcome my shyness. i also tried singles ads, and made a couple friends that way and got laid a couple times. but i couldn't see that going anywhere.

my 2 longest relationships were only a few months long, partly due to my shyness. one was from a co-worker who spent 4 months asking me out before i said yes, another was a friend of a friend.

so i've pretty much given up on women and accepted a life of celibacy. i wonder how common that is

Ladies, one more thing: Dress like a lady. If you 'll skip wearing pants, we promise not to wear dresses. If there's one thing that is NOT hot, it is some chick dressed like she's up for a day of house-painting.

Rule #0: be a geek girl. It's worked for me so far.

ack@moonflake

Hey! I'm gay, and as if that wasn't depressing enough, you've given me the impression that I'm never going to be with someone on my wavelength, so, like, cheers.

My geek rules for accepting women:

#1. Don't try to pry me from the computer. I have time for my PC, and I have time for my life. I can make that time accordingly. I'm very good at it. If I found the time for a girl who is genuinely interested in me, I will spend far less time on the computer. But dating me with the intent of pulling me from the computer WILL rub me the wrong way. Pulling me away from my computer is like telling you that you cannot go outside and chill with your friends anymore. If sitting on the PC isn't your thing, and you can't handle that--then you probably aren't a good match anyway.

I agree with Rule #0. Be a geek girl. A geek guy adores a woman who actually ENJOYS his hobbies. You may think it's weird, but if we can sit down with a girl and enjoy our video games and have a loving, caring, attractive female (have our cake and eat it, too!), then we are the best companion you will ever have.

Rule #3. What we find attractive is in some cases not what others find attractive. I speak from personal experience here so it might not apply to everyone. I find a girl with brains more attractive than a girl with T&A. My best relationship was with a girl who was a better programmer than I was--and she didn't even have a PC at home! Furthermore, I had to help her and her brother out with HTML at the time.

Rule #4. Gamer guys may sound sexist, but we typically view a majority of women with distaste. Girls who are "always looking for the bad boys" which we are not. We've been in many situations where we end up being "just friends" while we have to listen to a girl complain about her abusive boyfriend. DO NOT DO THIS. It is extremely bad for his morale and mental well being. It really takes an emotional toll on him.

Rule #5.

Don't try to fake being interested in his hobbies. Don't use his hobbies against him, and don't try to show off. Most gamer guys could care less about showing off in front of others by having to socially involve themselves with them. We are very much for the "What you know" and not the "Who you know" aspects of social interaction. It's very, VERY odd to many people because this is entirely opposite than what everyone else in the world is used to.

Us gamer geeks are very used to dealing with these kinds of people so we're very good at sniffing them out. While T&A attracts a lot of guys, I know plenty of gamer guys who really won't give you the time of day if you are more "talk" and less "action". Yes, I've seen women come and go to computer user groups because of this.

Simply put: Don't try to mingle with him and his friends by wearing massive amounts of computer-catch-phrase clothes, buzz words, and other stuff. If you want to be admired, pull out some code you wrote or a website you designed--they will love you for it and embrace you far beyond anything else.

I HAVE NEVER DATED, OR EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT SLEEPING WITH A GEEK. OH MY GOD!!!! SOME ONE WHOM TAKES CHARGE AND KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS IN ADDITION TO KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT I WANT!! ONCE YOU HAVE BEEN WITH A GEEK, THERE IS NO GOING BACK. NOT FOR THIS DIVA, HIGH MAINTENANCE EDUCATED WOMEN. I WISH I WOULD HAVE FOUND THIS OUT A LONG TIME AGO. GOOD BYE TO ALL OTHER TYPES OF MEN. GEEKS RULE!!!! BEST OF ALL HE IS NOT INTIMIDATED BY MY BEAUTY OR BRAINS!! I CAN ME SMART, PRETTY, FUNNY AND ASK A MILLION TECHNICAL QUESTIONS AND GET ANSWERS!!!

These rules (2-6) could be applied to anyone seeking to date/keep a geek (gay/straight/or otherwise). It was a good article.

Your comments about it being rare I would say are true. Here's why:

1. statistically, only approx 10% of people are gay.
2. And I'd say only approx 5-10% of those people are what you might consider geeks. That means that for every one hundred people, there will only be one who is gay/lesbian and geeky.

This whole article really depends on what your definition of geek is though.

Franly I do not think there is any replacement for social interaction. Dealing with and learning about the oposite sex takes practice and a willingness to admit no one is truly born with the ability inherent in them to just 'know' what to do, or how to get along.

Being assertive and strong doesn't mean you have to be an ass, and I think women realize that.

Geeks are often looked at as being weak because we tend to be more timid on the whole. However, many geeks go on to learn and excel in martial arts.

Gamers are a sub-breed of geek. They have their own issues and idiosyncracies.

I suggest moving away from rather broad recommendations on how women should work with geeks in love. Instead I think we as geeks need to work with our potential partners in life to both fit the desires and requirements we each have. We should become more assertive and strong willed outwardly as we are internally already. We should ask them to be patient and put up with our incomprehensible banter and our countless hours in front of a tube or LCD either working or playing and trust that we're more than willing to spend as much time with them as necessary (assuming they're not too needy in the first place).

I highly disagree with the statement that geek guys don't laugh out loud. Just spend 30 minutes in my office and you'll see that's totally not true. We laugh, we live, we even shag every now and then. Don't pigeonhole us into one stereotype, some of us old enough remember when it wasn't so cool to be a geek, and we were stereotyped back then. All we have to remember is..."never again". Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

No need to yell Diva with a brain, we all can read your drivel just fine if it weren't in caps.

You're not yet a real geek otherwise you wouldn't be writing all this about dating. But you're very close to become a lonely snoozy antisocial person soon who loves microprocessors more than all sexy stars.

My geek hubby sent me this as well! I'm but a lurker. Thanks for the entry though!

A lot of you say here is true although your #6 is a tad unrealistic. It'd better be goddamn good excuse to remove your geek boy from the computer. Heh. :)

I am not a full geek, only a little one. When it comes to game, I don't do much but I do keep up with the trends so at least I'm not 100% at a loss around the gamer circle. I actually wrote an article for Reever.net a few years back about being a geek wife myself. Hopefully, that's something to expand on.

http://reever.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=18&Itemid=29

#5 was right on. Great Article!

OMG a site where i can comment without having to register!! w00t!!

- coulda just left #1 off for the sake of not pissing visitors off (no matter how often you say "this is only a joke" everyone will take it seriously)

- #3 wots this stuff about not laughing? either a) he's constipated or b) we've already read your jokes online somewhere

- #6 is why i broke up with the the last three. If i'm on the computer it's because i want to be. If i want to go outside, i will, but don't make me. We're geeks for a reason: our computers provide more comfort than the real world, dur =)

I highly doubt #1. The density of queer folks in geek circles is way higher than average, and having seen all pr0n under the planet they're unlikely to be shocked with whatever sexual preferences you bring. In fact, they're likely to be game, or able to refer you to some geek friend who matches your kink.

To answer the question about how to find a girl if you're a geek guy: there are as many geek girls out there as there are geek guys, and you're best off with one of them. They're usually not into computers or other tech fields though, but linguistics, egyptology, ancient languages, sociology etc.

The best way to find them is in your local university library, or a cafe or park near university. The best way to approach them is striking up a conversation about their field of interest (try asking what exactly the title of the book they're reading means). The worst that can happen is that you learn something about a field of science you didn't even know exists, the best is that both of you overcome your shyness enough to exchange telephone numbers, and meet for a coffee next day.

Oh yes, and geek girls are equally likely not having been laid yet as you are. I know more than one who was still a virgin by age of 23, despite being attractive enough to make any men's head spin. They just don't want to hang around with jerks, so you might be the nice, intelligent, humble guy they have been waiting for.

my b.f. actually sent this to me.. very funny. Thanks for the insight.

I'm sorry, I prefer the alpha male. They may be a handful but I can't help the way I feel about them. I suppose there is someone for everyone out there. For me it's the more outgoing individual who presents a challenge to me. I'm doomed.

#7: Experience with drugs is also a plus. At least out here in N. California, almost every geek I've met is also a pothead. In our section of the dorms dedicated to computer science majors, it was a major drug hot spot, with an aroma of weed and incense permanently filling the area. They are also very likely to have had multiple psychedelic drug experiences. I'd say being a pothead or occasional weed user would drastically increase your chances of bagging a geek.

#8: Also, forget about practicing religion, as geeks are much more likely to be agnostic or athiest. Be prepared to forego any kind of church services, and it helps to be open to philosophical discussion about religion in general.

#9: Be morally flexible and open-minded. Geeks are unlikely to value religious morals, and are more driven by reason and logic than social norms. Displaying any kind of stubborn ignorance is the fastest way to turn off a geek.

Awesome list, that's why I had to submit it to Digg!

I completely agree with all of them, except #4, I like my women to be clingy! :)

LOL.. every single guy I have ever dated (since and including my ex-husband) has been in the computer industry! Somehow I seem to attract them. That's ok though, because I'm pretty geeky myself. I think it's harder for geek girls, especially the ones who are attractive.

How about a guide for men who like geek girls? No? It was worth a shot. *sigh*

My hubbie of 8 months sent this to me, and i have to say i agree with it almost completely. I wouldn't say every geek guy is like that because i have met some of the husbands friends and a couple of them seem almost the creepy type of geek but most are very cool and down to earth, but my husband almost exactly as above except hes more into battlestar galactica rather than star wars but same thing although he tends to dissagree.....oops my bad

If more females read this manpage, geekdom would be far better off; we might even multiply. ;)

where are all of these available geek guys? i have been looking for one for ages but have been coming up empty handed. i even work in a computer store! all the guys in there either aren't that geeky or are total douches. where else should i look?

@Ben!

This doesn't really count, but as a "bisexual" male biased geek guy, there's nothing hotter than a nice looking (this varies of course)(geek) chick who'se tomboyish. ^.^

@goochigirl

"How about a guide for men who like geek girls? No? It was worth a shot. *sigh*"

So, so sorry, can't help you. I am a geek's geek, and while I've had no problem finding geek women, invariably the relationship has ended due to lack of passion and interest! To our mutual surprise! I think if more geeks focused less on cerebral qualities in a mate and more on a fit companion in other ways, there'd be happier relationships all around. Equal IQ != perfect love match!

I shopped and shopped, but ended with a woman who's no dummy (she uses Linux too, after all!), has some geek tendencies (we do Ren Faires together!), but more importantly her strengths fill in for my weaknesses! Like dealing with society while I hide behind my computer. We're something much bigger than the sum of our parts.

Of course, there's geek/geek couples out there. So you code PHP together naked and D&D round for who's on top tonight. Wonderful, but I wasn't going to wait until age 80 for that one, on the off chance that it would all be iPod sex and reading manga in bed together and BSD zsh command pillow talk.

Now of course, if you want regular guys to know how to date a geek girl... but I have no basis to start from there!

@Kayleigh

"Where are all of these available geek guys?"

You're working in the wrong computer store? Try attending a computer convention and score yourself some free T-shirt swag - I suggest anything with a Linux penguin or BSD demon on it. Wear 'em in public. That should pull in some bites.

Or pick up any computer-related activity, gaming, programming, web design. The technology field is *STARVING* for women, this is the first time I've heard of a woman actively seeking geek men who couldn't find one.

Of course, you may still find total douches...

@Metalchick

At the risk of making this a "Dear Tux" column, I'll deal with your remarks... kindly, I hope.

As somebody else mentioned, you *do* sound bitter. Don't feel like the Lone Ranger; it happens to the best of us. You're mourning a dead love; healthy part of grieving and recovery. As long as you're not crippled for life.

You ended up on the couch with his buddies because you didn't practice #6.

If you're coding better than a geek, then you yourself are a geek! See my remarks upthread to goochiegirl on why geek/geek isn't always a perfect match.

Last, if *my* significant other was better at a programming language than I was, I'd be thrilled to bits! I'd just forget about the language she was good in and focus on other languages, and just be able to say "Here, honey, you're the Perl whiz of the household, so *you* handle this CGI script while I hack out this C program." Hell, technology is vast. Two geeks strong in coding isn't just a relationship; it's a startup!

Good guide.
There needs to be more of these kind of things to keep ppl up to date.
Also can be rather difficult to find geeks. Think of what priorities geeks have, what they like to do other than stay at home.
The term geek is less defined now. There is a full spectrum of people with varying priorities in life. e.g. i hav a friend who has a long time gf and a very active social life while also being addicted to tech.
Maybe a site could be started with community submitted tutorials/explanations on different social groups arranged perhaps by interests. - sure to boost geek confidence, more information the better

I'll post again if i decide to set one up. :)

The High Functioning Autistic, Autistic, or aspie with (AS) Asperger's Syndrome are also known as geeks to some but this is inaccurate and I'd like to discuss the difference briefly and my experience as an autistic with 3 major experiences with women. (btw http://www.thegeeksyndrome.com/ has a test to distinguish between geek, non-autistic, and autistics---unofficial) To sum up, I'm 21 and I have seen every episode of star trek, i use the computer literally all day long, i am a Mac head. But I don't fit in with the other geeks because of my autism and i think my experience with women is different than the other geeks and perhaps the other autistics. I'm INTJ/INTP or INFJ on MBTI (also confusing).
1) INFJ - first experience in any way---i chased her at the beginning then she declared love for me after i asked her out. lasted 1 year. best thing she would do that encouraged me to move forward with her is make offers and make herself available (she initiated). she was always online too and even suggested a few online games and we used a digital whiteboard together to draw our love out---very cool in 2001 at least for me. when she stopped doing that the relationship fell apart because i was left trying to decide when to ask her out and guess what she wanted. when she stopped being extraverted the relationship broke. i was very anxious and confused. people with autism literally don't know what the social rituals are so if you leave it up to certain autistics they won't know how to interact with a girl who gives no guidance. it's bad when girls assume you know the rituals. so two introverts together failed---each introvert kept avoiding doing the extraverted work and one of us needed to.
2) extraverted sensing feeling judger (ESFJ)---i had the advantage here because i was a year older and that tends to help. hard to read. i didn't realize her exact personality until months into the relationship. ESFJ's are bad for aspies and perhaps geeks. ESFJ's are unable to talk imaginatively and hypothetically to the same depth as N intuitive. she didn't understand my ideas or philosophies. she wasn't my total dream girl because the connection to my last "N" girlfriend was so much deeper intellectually.
3) INTP---i dated the geek this time. but not a typical geek because she was quite athletic. biomedical engineer though. same problem with #1. introversion + introversion. we didn't understand each other. many autistics get misunderstood already and having two introverts tends to deepend the confusion. i did feel comfortable with her intellectually. she was probably smarter than me in at least 3 areas i respected and admired. i respected that but we avoided talking deeply because she was truly swamped with work (i saw her requirements and it was tough---she was in the high level classes and doing serious extracuriculars)---she said she wanted to keep it light though we did talk about Richard Feynman and she had good books lying around for me to read at night in her room. it was cool but she was too busy intellectually to learn about my mind. i felt a responsibility to show my personality through action (e.g. creativity) and that was hard because i had to keep quiet and not make it heavy talk. she also wasn't a pot smoker and my continued experimentation with it couldn't be shared with her. i liked her being a "T" thinking type nonetheless. the last two girls were too emotional. aspies like the T type. T types don't overwhelm us with feelings. aspies like to keep it rational.

so i'd say the best girl for an autistic would be an ENTP or ENTJ but the latter is very intense, which may be fine for autistics. autistics shouldn't have to deal with F girls, and are better off with more rational and less emotional-oriented women but it should be an extravert who has good social skills to make up for the lack of natural social intuition and grasp of rituals autistics have by definition. geeks should benefit from ENFJ but you can see typelogic.com for that. in summary the geeks can handle an F girl better than the autistic but both of us benefit from iNtuitive women who can handle our deep thought.

Now someone needs to write the reverse... how to bag the Geek Chick. We're a rare breed after all ^_^

Lord Metroid, can I introduce you to my daughter? I am not kiding she never knows when a guy is hitting on her.

Geeks Rule.. others Drool!!

#1 is right. I know a large number of geeks. Not one is remotely gay and I have never heard of one.

Hit the nail right on the head. Don't listen to all of the people obsessing with themselves. I laughed, my girlfriend laughed. Thanks!

I'd have to agree with all of it but #4. Geek guys are very affectionate and are clingy themselves usually, because they appreciate a girl when they have one. Especially when they have a good one.

Also, for all you lonely geeks out there, art girls go amazingly well with computer guys. Artists and computer geeks contrast a lot in their fields, but bring along a lot of similar interests and personalities. I'm in design and love computers, and my boy works with servers and built my beastly computer. If you are looking for a good match, I advise checking out the nearest art school or offbeat coffee shop.

Ladies this is soo true!!! Follow these to the T and you will land yourself a geek.. Worked for me! and I cannot ask for anyone better. =)

I love reading this (I am female). Every guy I have ever dated has been a geek. What makes things better is that I'm also a geek! The babble one is true. Sometimes we just need to talk it out and it hits us. Thanks for this. It def put a smile on my face

LOL zomg this is sooo true ...well i am dating a geek since 1/2 year now and yah he is exactly like that ...but i guess that is partly why i love him soo much ;)

Pirashkee needs to just chill. I have a geek - and what you wrote is pretty much on the mark.

But mostly IT'S FUNNY. So everyone relax - IT'S FUNNY.

http://www.myspace.com/cry_me_a_river1

uh hello? hi (^-^) I'm kinda like a nerdy guy I think, well because I'm quiet and shy at times and I'm really into geeky nerdy and shy chicks if any come across this message and you would like to chat with me but don't have a myspace just create one its fun :)

I got together with a wonderful geek guy and have been happily with him for many years. But, recently he got a great geek job and he is getting a smug attitude and is being very snobbish about so many things that it's hard to find activities or friends that he cares to spend time with. Is this common? I'm used to the geek ego, but this is more, like a demon has taken over his psyche ever since he advanced in the computer field. I've seen it happen to geek friends when they got good jobs too, so I thought it might be part of geek evolution. Any thoughts? What should I do? Is it over for us?

@Mary

This is a very interesting case. I would guess that it's just temporary. You might try to draw him out and get him to talk. Why does he feel it is necessary to build a wall between himself and the rest of the world?

With corporate industries trying to monopolize and control everything we think, feel, and say, it's easy for geeks to feel embattled. It's easy to feel insecure, or like no one but another geek understands us. But I'm just groping in the dark here without knowing the specifics.

@Metalchick
"I will say this. If he's a nerd/geek, don't date him. Don't try to change him. Don't try to change any man. He won't do it. Let them be."

An old comment, but I have to reply to this as a geek guy.

I'm the type of guy that agrees with everything that was posted above. I *want* a girl that'll pull me out of my house. Why? Being indoors for 10+ years doing nothing but computers, you tend to loose contact with HOW to go out -- on top of that, the motivation to even try.

As a geek guy, I want a woman to push me out.

Unfortunately, telling this to a woman makes them immediately run away in fear that you're insecure, weak, etc.

Anyway, if you're outgoing and in the Dallas area, feel free to hit me up. ;)

As a geek guy that recently got out of a relationship with a girl that couldn't do any of 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6, I can't imagine that there are women out there can actually do these things.

I was once with a girl that pulled the power strip my computers were connected to out of the wall because she wanted attention while I was working on something that was very important (to me). Instant relationship ender :).

I also agree with your comment that geek/geek relationships aren't always as good as they may sound.

I completely disagree with #2. As soon as a girl geek starts speaking nerdy, guy geeks become just as obnoxious as football players hitting on cheerleaders in high school. Nerds (or, *shudder* dorks) might be a bit more shy, but geeks generally are more willing to go for the girl, unfortunately even to the "I met you 10 seconds ago and you said *insert computer-related word here* will you go out with me?"

I am really nervous now. I am glad I found this blog it did answer some questions. I'm a 28 year old girl who wouldn't call myself a geek and never had issues getting a guy. Until now and a guy I couldn't stand when we first met has been on my mind 24/7 for months. I don't tell him that but still.

It took months to tell him I was interested he had no reaction it has taken a few more months to repeat myself and touch his hand which made my day but now what? I'm so nervous around him and he's agreed to date but I've got no idea how to move things from here. To be honest I really want to kiss him but can't think of how long that courage will take to get.

Advise anyone for a nervous/scared girl.

Honestly I think some of the same stuff applies to dating nerdy girls, at least it works for me or would work for me... the one relationship I managed to snag blew up in my face and at 22 I see no prospects for a new relationship comming my way ANY time soon.

I think its an amazing thing to try and give women the option to venture into our amazing lives. I would rather be a geek and am very proud of what I do.

The key to it all? Real geeks spend so much time on games because the real world sucks (and its kinda scary) why else do you think we have all those cool toys?!

I wish I could find a girl who didn't care about me gaming...who would force me outside now and then...I don't think they exist...

This has actually been sort of a therapeutic experience, reading all of these comments... I think the trend we can gather from the comments is that most geeks can relate to most of the rules. I also support WiseWeasel's additions #7, #8 & #9, once again keeping in mind that not ALL shades of geek will relate to ALL the rules.

As for me, I agree with all of the rules for the most part. I have a tendency to get so technical and detached from this world that I know SO MUCH ABOUT that I forget to get myself involved in it. That's why #6 is so important for some of us. I'm also kind of a semi-geek, which means I don't quite fit into either side of the fence. I have periods of time where I play more sports than video games and I actually focus on my image... but then I always go back to late nights of code and days of unshaven reclusion. So how do I find a girl who will tolerate my nerdiness but also participate in the more active part of my life? Or maybe it's the fact that I switch back and forth that makes me hard to deal with... I dunno... I'm babbling and quite high. Thank you for your time.

I love your tips -up to point 5 they're OK but with point 6, it's just about impossible to get the guy off the computer if he's 'into it' and that can go on for ever and ever. I did date a geek once but obviously we just weren't made for each other because that point 6 was a sticking point! Never mind, I've found a SHI Symbol and that works for me to meet a few more people (geeky or otherwise) who are also single and best of all I can wear it all the time to show I'm single so I maximise my opportunities. After reading Lord Metroid, DragonJadedEyes and Kayleigh's comments it looks like they need a SHI symbol too - hey mates, give it a bash, it works and you've got a conversation starter without even knowing it. I put their web address up there just in case. Good luck everyone

nice article - some good advice there.
Geek dating sites are poping up on the internet catering for those who prefer the geeks of the world.

wow this article isn't stereotypical at all.

rule 1: dont judge and categorize the men you choose.

Very good tips indeed. Cheers!

Hey, Pete, thanks for the tips. I have one question, though.

What do you do if you're geek guy is shy (most of the time they are), but you're shy too?

#2 all the way!

I don't I could ever kiss a girl, I'd be to worried about seeming... like a jerk, I guess.

The key is confidence; learn to love yourself and others will follow. It doesn't matter what you are into - if you are doing what you enjoy then you will meet others who enjoy the same things or compliment what you do. I am not a geek girl but not a princess either. I have been with ALPHA males before and now I'm with a geeky guy. To be honest - you both have pros and cons but I'm sure I do too. I think we are all beautiful individuals and deserve to be appreciated for that. My only gripe about the geekiness is that there is too much thinking going on and not enough feeling. It is really important to learn to live in the moment. Things like yoga and connecting with nature can be really helpful with relaxing and getting you ready to be receptive on the more kinaesthetic level most other people are predominant on so perhaps give that a go. If you are one of the sensitive beautiful guys - why wouldn't a girl want to be with you? There are a lot of girls and guys who want it all and our world is very materialistic but we don't all have to be like that. Rock on individuality! I'm not going to be put in a box ;)

I'm proud of being a Geek, no dates but anyway got my old friend computer.

I think the most important thing is to just be yourself, and accept others as they are. If you have common interests then you can be friends, which is the most important thing in a loving relationship. I've been lucky in that I've found my perfect geek partner... equally intelligent, well-read, a good listener, able to talk about many different things and willing to learn about new stuff. We can bounce ideas off each other and have interesting conversations. A relationship shouldn't be hard work... if you've found the right person it's the easiest and most wonderful thing in the world.

ok question to all geeks:

My boyfriend is a geek and I was raised with and by geeks. I get it! My boyfriend adores me. My girlfirends tell me how obviously smitten he is with me. And when we are together he is REALLY there. I adore him.

And I am pretty independent geeky myself- but not as much as him. I am a bit yin to his yang - more social/ artsy tho equally smart...just different. All good!!

BUT I need more 'attention' than he does and more than he seems to be able to give. He appears to forget about me for periods of time and I start to get lonely and frustrated. I try to give him a ton of space and I really do achieve this but I have needs too!

So I want to be able to say 'hey yo! over here! give me some attention for an hour then you can go back to fixing your modulating who-z-whatsit. but I want to be able to say it with making him feel bad or guilty or having a fight.

How do I do this??????????????

thank you!

lucky u. i wish i can find a girl like that.

I won't say I would want to go out with any old nerd, but certainly I respect intellectual guys more and the way nerds are so into what they do is very appealing and I find some of them very sexy and funnily enough I feel more attractive around them, maybe because I care what they think of me in that way more than a normal guy. Normal men are not enough. I am highly educated myself and a bit brainy, but not really a nerd at all, so I want to let you all know that there are women out there who are actually looking for a nerd and think they are great. I like a guy sysadmin right now and I am not too shy usually, but because I like him so much I cannot meet his eye and smile at him etc. so I doubt he knows I like him. So my advise to you guys is if you really like someone, then smile at them and it will be obvious to her that you like her, and you can judge by her response if she likes you. But it would be important for me personally to know that the guy liked me over any other girl, not just that they would go out with me or pretty much any not-ugly-girl-that-is-interested. I agree with the advise given here, but if you are basically yourself you can't go wrong. xx

So I always fall for the geeks but am too shy to ever just grab and kiss them like that so it usually never develops past friendships. How do geeks and introverts ever get together?

Also, I have recently had several conversations with different geeks about how they just dont want to be bothered with girls and relationships. I peaked in on that geek2geek dating site and most of the guys there seem unmotivated too. Reading their profiles, I was wondering why some of them were even on a dating site with their "i'm not really interested in a relationship now"s and "just casually looking"s. Seems like most geeks I meet just arent interested.
never thought i'd say this but I wish i liked the jocks or something. at least they seem to want to date women.

hey you must be petethesciencegeek.com so what's your last name is it .com or pete? so how old are you? wait! who am I oh know! i 4got my name! do you NO what it is oh well what was i talking about again oh duh i was commenting about Icarly.com well carly I love your website! by the way carly some one just shouted my name so I remembered my name its YOU GIRL STUPID BLOOND! then he started chaseing me so im so scared wait what am i doing oh yeah i'm texting FRED ges what he said he said he was sneaking into Judes party that makes me mad! grrrr! oh hi fred were are breaking up you weirdo see ya!oh well i loved this website anyways!

hi its me...........................again :) yay wellscincei just broke up with fred i have 1 spot open 4 you petethesciencegeek.com .com wink wink just dont tell my other 99 boyfreinds psssiit i like haveing well rounded high numbers oh my cells ringing

YOUGIRLSTUPIDBLOOND: WHAT! cant you see im getting married right now!

FRED; you are oh no please take me back i promise i'll stay away from judey

me:whatever go away!

i shut my phone petethesciencegeek.com! if he calls tellhim to talk to the hand see ya soon

tanks for the tips think ugirlstupidbloond will like me again?

i dont know why i started this comady act on coments but any one who's reading this is really smart oh well peter i go to your school im in your grade guess who i am?

Um, I'm 39. profile here. I have not, to my recollection, attended a school of any kind in at least ten years.

of all my posts, this one gets the weirdest comments...

I disagree completely with #1.
I am straight, I consider myself a geek guy and it's completely ok to date/have a relationship with a bi girl, for example. Been there, done that.
And I am absolutely sure I am not the only one!
And few geek gay people? Come on! There are lots more than you think! I know what I'm taking about.
Even more... Girls: if you are going to change the way you are, that's a pity.
(Changing something that is not bad, like being gay/bi/etc, for example, you got the idea.)
Look for someone who really loves you the way you are.

Cite: "As for funny, consider that geeks are cerebral and introverted - they rarely laugh out loud."

Hey,come on!!!!!
Almost every geek I know really LOLs!
Although I think you're right on certain points of your list (in a general way!), I think it's better to just don't assume things like this.

dude this kid at my school said he made petethesciencegeek.com so i guess he was lieing oh welll i love icarly peace!

am i a geek this haunts me carly carly! did you hang up on me again this is the 5th time today! wah!

Sooo whats the difference between a geek and a self-absorbed bore?

Oh, this article is soooo true ... it fits perfectly my geek and also my profile: I am a little smart :D and we make great time mates, and I am always the one with the funny stuff ;))

What is the Ultimate sign of a Geek?

I have unexpected fell in love with an introverted/geek guy for a while now, we have known each other for a few years but I no such feelings came until a few months ago, and it grew stronger and stronger (on my end). We went out for a few times within the past few months after he has finally asked me to go out, but he only tells me to contact him first, I just don't understand, if he has interest why don't he take an extra step to do the asking out ... instead of asking me to tell him when i am free. Anyway, I don't know if I didn't do enough or I am not expressive enough over the past few going outs, but he is not making any moves!! I am very confused now. I don't want to be too expressive that it may scare him but at the same time I try to indicate to him that I like him. How can I go about dealing with this?

Online dating can be so much easier than you might imagine but of course there are things you need to be wary of once you begin. Once people considered online dating to be a dangerous method of meeting new people but that has changed with the popularity of the major dating sites.

First off I will use quotations because I don't believe in labels. If someone thinks dating a 'geek' will automatically mean he will be totally devoted and so thrilled to be with you... think again. It all depends on the individual. I've dated 'geeks' and 'nerds' and many of them were incredibly arrogant and completely out of tune with reality. My ex is a 'geek' (socially inept, plays various video games and d&d. Reads fantasy novels. Loves star trek OK looking but a bit overweight with glasses. You know the 'stereotypical geek'and yes he actually labeled himself as one) He was very nice at first and me being used to dating more sociable jerks thought well maybe he'd be different. Uh no. He was just as much of an asshole as they were, if not more. He refused to see anything but HIS way and would never make even the smallest compromise. He would act very rude at times and then would used his inexperience as an excuse. When he realized that relationships weren't all about him he told me he wasn't ready for one... and then got with another girl a few days later (who he met through friends by 'chance'. He couldn't actually meet a girl that quickly on his own)

Oh and the 'other girl' seriously looks like a pug. I guess my ex doesn't understand the goal of a rebound... lol

GeekGuy: I think what he's referring to is that geeks don't laugh much in normal situations. They have a tendency to laugh a lot harder at technical stuff (like when someone spends days or weeks trying to fix a program that's throwing an exception only to find out it was because of a missing semicolon) than at ordinarily-funny stuff.

Candie: It's most likely because he's nervous about whether or not you really like him. I know that when I like someone, if I perceive that they might like me (generally no matter how obvious they make it, to a point) I tend to pass it off as me just imagining that they like me because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable if they really don't like me and I'm just imagining it. This is where rule #2 tends to come in. Basically, just keep doing exactly what you are unless he shows clear signs that he doesn't like you or tells you directly.

I am currently dating a geek (

this was actually very helpful! i kinda have this crush on my friend's brother, and he's a total geek. i rarely get to see him, so i can mostly contact him through the internet, but apparently that's not a bad way to begin. :) do you geek guys think you could ever go for a friend of a relative, or would it just be too much trouble? thanks!

ok how much chasing does a geek require?
SO far, I've made all the effort in terms of arranging dates to catch up, but when we do catch up - he does go to a lot of effort in organising stuff, paying for everything etc. BUT I'm always the one to put out the first suggestion of "movies thursday night?" (or whatever).

Basically I'm sick of going on dates and only holding hands. I want to get laid.

I'm a quiet female (18) but I have the ability to "act" extroverted so people who meet me for the first time generally never know the truth. I'm interested in a few video games, but nothing major...mostly silly ones like the Sims, Zoo Tycoon, etc. Computer programming is a hobby but I'm not sure if I could do it as a career. But I think that I would really be compatible with a "geek" if that's what they're still called these days. Geeks seem to click best with my "inner" personality; I feel the most comfortable with them though I may not have the same interests (i.e. COD, Star Trek). Plus, I think they are better partners in a long term committed relationship - which is the only relationship that I'd ever want.

There's a "geek" boy who went to high school with me and I'd like to shoot an e-mail as a friendly gesture and attempt to get to know him better; I regret not doing that before :(. If he responded, I think I'd be the happiest person ever haha. My goal is mainly to get him to do something with me....like toss a frisbee around or something (my friends and I play ultimate and I reallllly need some practice throwing). I would try to pick an activity that would make him feel comfortable until he knows me better - probably the less talking the better at first. I'd be willing to invest in guitar hero or whatever if that was a way to connect with him lol. I'm scared he'll think the e-mail out of the blue is weird :(. But I only *just* realized that he was my type...possibly a little too late >_

Oh no....comment was too big, had to chop it up....my type-face lost an eye.

Not to generalize too much....but geeks are usually sweet, witty, respectful, trustworthy, and all around good people - intelligence is a given, but its their other characteristics that appeal to me. Plus, I think their tech quirks are funny - that's what makes them interesting. I can do crazy things and girl stuff with my other friends....but at the end of the day, I'd like someone like a "geek" to go home to and build a personal relationship with. :)

Without a doubt, the geeks are definitely underrated. Sure, they may struggle with normal social trends when it comes to dating (I probably do too haha), but at least they make an effort within their skills. Roses and chocolates are nice, but really boring and cliche....I'd think it was the coolest thing ever if a boy went against the grain and made me a webpage - I'd probably have to do a happy dance before showing it off to MY friends :D. I think it's mostly a confidence issue for most - I know I have that problem lol.

So, for all you geeks out there, I think you're fine the way you are. My advice? Be confident. Also, if a nice girl asks you to toss around a frisbee (literally), please giver her a chance and go along with it :). Cheers. (I always write too much.)

Like any other skills, dating skills can be learned.

If the geeks learn the basic dating skills, he will have women swooned.

Basic dating skills consist of knowing how to dress to impress, basic hygiene, how to talk to women, how to act confident.

All geeks can learn essential dating skills at www.geeksdating101.com

i only date geeks! and i find these rules work, i do find though that if you get a geek into something physical they take to it just as well as computers! Also i'd like to mention because geeks hang out with other geeks you don't have mean friends problem XD