anagram for Penguin Pete = I PEG NEPTUNE

My Most Obscure Hobbies

Date/Time Permalink: 07/05/08 01:42:28 pm
Category: Humor
Hey, just because I'm a hardcore geek, doesn't mean I'm
one-dimensional! When I'm not doing anything involving a brain, here's
some little ways I like to keep myself - and others - busy. Think of
them as psychological happy-slapping, or little ways to add to the
world's surrealism.

* Provoking people to ask me what my sign is, so I can say it's 'no
  parking'. In my astrology chart (which is just as valid as any other),
  the signs are:

"lane ends merge left", 
"yield", 
"signal ahead", 
"school crossing", 
"four-way stop", 
"no stopping any time", 
"one-way", 
"speed limit 60",
"no parking",
"do not enter",
"road closed ahead",
and "road work ahead".

You want to see my chart?

* Whenever I see a commercial on TV with a phone number saying
  "operators are standing by", I like to call the number and ask, "Why
  won't your boss give you a chair so you can sit down?"

* I like to sing the words to 'Amazing Grace' to the tune of
  'Gilligan's Island'. See, it works because they're both in common
  meter.

* I enjoy writing down random series of lottery numbers on slips of paper,
  signing them "God", and dropping them on the ground for people to
  find.

* I sign up for Internet dating sites with bogus personas, and fill in
  my turn-ons as "beachside dinners and long walks on a candle". In the
  part where I say who I'm looking for, I put down "Seeking long-term
  relationship with a spambot who will steal my identity and link me to
  lots of camgirl sites."

* I used to torture my Sims, but I had to stop. They were starting to
  like it.

* The first time somebody sneezes, I get to say "Bless you". But
  sneezes rarely happen one at a time. If they sneeze a second time, I
  get to exercise one of the few chances I get as an American to utter a
  non-English word and not be executed for unpatriotism, and I say,
  "gesundheit". But after that, if they sneeze yet a third time, I'm
  stumped. I have to say, "I'm sorry, but I don't know any more magic
  spells." That's a shame, because there they are with their soul
  hanging halfway out their nose and I can't do a damn thing about it.

* Whenever I get a telemarketer call, I always save the number. Then
  if anybody asks me for my FAX number, I give them that.

yes, even a recycled sig

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