If you don't agree with me now, just wait five years.

Lady geeks, why are geek guys so... geek guy?

Date/Time Permalink: 08/05/06 12:29:12 am
Category: Geek Culture

background: Black hat conference, lecturer delivers speech on security holes. Geek guys would normally be discussing it in their typical sluggishly logical Vulcan manner. But! The! Lecturer! Was! Female!!!! Suddenly, the geek guys forget to flame each other over platform and language choice, and their eyes bulge out over their nose "AOOOOOOOgah!" and their tongue unrolls across the floor and they hoot and whistle and fly around the room and carry on like a Tex Avery wolf.

Into the middle of such pandemonium inquires yet another Eve, she of pondering, querying mind, who interrogates thusly: "What is new about female hackers? Plenty of us exist."

Here's my attempt at what it is:

Baffling, isn't it? I've also seen gals use it to their advantage: burst into a forum and go "I just patched my kernel and I'm female! Chase me, guys!" and skip away laughing...

I have tons of theories to explain why geek guys get so hung up on finding a geek girl. For one thing, counter the stereotype, it's actually women who are intimidated by intellectual men. Oh my God, he's just too complex for me! Or maybe it's that this rotten American culture encourages women to be plastic-headed Barbie dolls, so that too many women sadly fall for it and we men *do* get tired of talking to one gum-snapping post-teen vacant head-space after another whose whole conversational mode is variations on a theme of "Yeah, Whatever!" Then there are the guys who are insecure about their own intellects, they got one too many swirlies from the jocks back in HS and now are cringingly shy, when they really yearn the most for a woman who will go "Honey, I fixed your aliasing bug and optimized your code so the executable takes two minutes less and uploaded it to CVS for you while you were taking your nap, now here's a martini and let's boink like civet cats in front of the fire." A guy gets a woman like that, he'll gladly volunteer to do the dishes and dusting. I have tons of theories, but who knows if they're worth the pixels they're written in?

Those of us more experienced (and more married) know the real world facts, being that geek material alone is not an indicator of a perfect match. A few geek females and I have tried like anything to have a relationship together, and while we laugh at the same code comments and read the same science fiction and so on, there just WASN'T a romantic spark. We were as much of a turn-on for each other as a brick. No, my only stable relationship, surprise, turned out to be with a woman who, though she can Internet and use Linux and figure out Gimp with the best of them, is my match because she COMPLETES me - fills in for the half of the personality traits that I don't have - and not because we're perfect twins.


So, don't be shy to comment on this one, folks! Perhaps we can drop a fig-leaf or two and find out what's really going on!

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