cogito ergo blogito

Before you post that 'Why Programming Sucks' rant:

Date/Time Permalink: 03/08/07 05:27:51 pm
Category: Humor

Forward: I've seen so many "why programming/programmers suck" posts so many times in so many places, that I've written a form letter to reply to them. Presented here, in its naked glory:

Read my lips: Microsoft Windows is the problem with everything in computers, and it is the only problem. Every time I hear somebody moaning about how rotten the state of programming is, turns out they use Visual Velveta-something.

Step outside the little Windows cage (populated entirely by college-minted MSCEs) and investigate BSD, Linux, GNU, Solaris, OS X, Minix, and Inferno; you'll find so much caring and passion, you'll say (as many have) that you've walked into a cult.

I've tried programming on a Windows box:

"Where's the pre-installed compilers and interpreters with free documentation and an archive of source I can read from and learn by example?"

- No, no, no. What's a compiler? You have to buy our millennium edition IDE, and you'd better pay top dollar and sign non-disclosure agreements or you'll just end up with the junior crippled toy edition.

"What's my choice of languages?"

- You like C++ and BASIC, right?

"Well, I guess I'll settle for it; OK, so I want to draw a line, may I have the specs on the video driver please?"

- WHAT??? You're lucky we don't sue you for asking, bub! That's copyrighted intellectual property!

"OK, here's my 'hello world' GUI app; can I write text directly on the dialog and read the bits off the keyboard?"

- WHAT??? ARE YOU CRAZY??? No, you sit in this dark iron box and pass a note through a little slit to ask Windows if it's noticed your user's keypress event yet, and Windows will take the message and get back to you when it's damn good and ready. And you'd better not close the dialog without asking Windows for permission to close first! Hey, wait a minute! Do you have a DRM hall-pass for this data anyway?

"Well, since you're so touchy about your precious desktop environment, can I just make a command-line app? That's all I really need for this simple application anyway."

- Fat chance. Microsoft has ensured through ten years of concentrated effort that 98% of its user base has never seen a command line, so good luck getting anybody to use it.

"YAY! I surmounted the odds and persevered and my program is running! I am the Master of the Universe!"

- HA!HA! We just patched the two DLLs your puny program depends on so that it breaks! And your IDE is outdated, you have to upgrade or it won't run anymore. You're going to have to start all over again!

"Oh, programmers don't have any passion anymore!"

Oh, yeah, I hear you. Dude, it's like the death of the Renaissance!

Demand more Penguin Pete

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