Because this blog (and my mood) needs a lighten-up kick in the gluteus maximus (last post being exhibit A), and because with 4 hours left of 2007 and the champagne bottle ready for popping, I am in no mood to do any real work, it's time to clean out the searchbag, the list of search terms tracked by my b2evolution stats which show some of the phrases which landed people here.
10 digit code myspace hack - Look in your local phone book for the mental health hotline, and it will give you the ten-digit code for MySpace users. Punch the code into any phone, after pressing '1'. Tell the person who answers that you need to be committed immediately. No, no, no - thank you!
nethack howto open chest - Most heart surgeons use a scalpel, but you mean those chests you find in the dungeons. First, stand on it and hit 'l' to 'loot' the chest. 90% of the time this won't work, because the chest is locked. If you have a key, lock pick, wand of opening, credit card, or other device, hit 'a' to 'apply' it to the chest's lock. If you don't have that, use Alt-F to 'force' the lock open. Note that you have a probability of destroying the chest when you force it, depending on what weapon you wield to force it. Daggers are better than staffs for this.
My daughter won't date the guy I like - Give up, madam. Your daughter and I have been married fifteen happy years; it's too late to do anything about it now.
nethack how to use magic marker - A magic marker is a tool which can do two things: write a scroll or book, or engrave on the floor. It can be recharged just like a wand. To write a scroll or book, apply the marker with the 'a' command. You need a blank scroll or book. You usually need some luck, familiarity with writing, or to have used the kind of scroll or book you're trying to write, in order to succeed.
geek phrases no one understands - This is almost a logical impossibility, since surely, somebody understood any phrase when it was coined at least. You might be thinking of Command-line memes or Snowclones or Jargon.
How do I bring up command line? - Very gently, and only while hiding behind an asbestos shield. By advocating the command line, you automatically become the most-hated person on the Internet at that moment. Which is funny, because all software is made out of command lines, which almost nobody will admit.
debian clergy - I... uh... see... oh, I give up. Just write your own joke about secret societies, FOSS zealots, cathedral software engineering methods, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster here.
apt-get explained - The concept here is that you can make new software appear on your computer as easily as you can order a pizza over the phone. Even easier than that, since all the pizzas I know of cost money. Just command "Let there be software!" and behold, it is so. No shopping, searching, EULAs, anti-piracy checks, product ID codes, dependency issues, or fighting off hordes of vengeful goblins as you beat a hasty retreat from the cave.
why doesn't firefox color my visited links? - If it's just affecting a specific page or site, somebody built the web page with a healthy dose of boundless stupidity. It is possible to over-ride the default visited-link behavior with CSS. Thus, it invokes Penguin Pete's Law of the Blink Tag, which states, "Every possible way to abuse a feature will be deployed by somebody."
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