With this blog, I attempt to answer the question: How dangerous can an idea get?

Moved to the Prophecies category: There will NEVER be a native Steam client for Linux

Date/Time Permalink: 08/13/12 03:42:16 pm
Category: Prophecies

After calling Valve / Steam / Phoronix on over a decade of shenanigans, I got a little backlash over it, which, together with further research, prompted me to move this to the prophecies category and be done with it. It is now an official Penguin Pete Prophecy:

There will NEVER be a native Steam client for Linux

Note that "native" does not count anything running on Wine, which has already been trying to port Steam for years and been sorta-successful. Note the most recent update, which has "Anything related with the Steam UI (Buying games, chat, selecting WHICH game to launch)" in the "not working" category yet lists the status as "platinum". Anywhere else on WineDB, not being able to play a game at all counts as "bronze" at best.

But the infamous "steamy" post over at Valve claims only to have tested "L4D2" on Linux and guess what? WineDB has already declared L4D (Steam) to have run "platinum" since 2010! That post on valvesoftware.com is already nearing a month old and that's all the progress they've claimed.

Running on Wine != native.

A Linux Elf-executable binary = native.

This "Steam on Linux" hype is nothing but woof-woof-woof-woof-woof, has been for over a decade, as I link in the previous post on the subject. I don't know what kind of troll-brain it takes to look at pages promising the same thing in the years 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004, and 2003, and yet scream in 2012 "NO IT'S FOR REAL THIS TIME!" and expect us all to fall for it like stupid idiots.

It's to get page views and ad clicks and spam-market Valve - possibly also a bluff to threaten Microsoft in order to get them to cooperate more with Valve (companies have done this before). I wouldn't even be mentioning them, which gives them far more attention than they deserve, but they have apparently bought and pocketed most of the Linux blogosphere and set them all to spamming about Valve in big rainbow flashing gifs 24/7.

For God's sake, people, were you all born yesterday?

But because you all insist, we'll post it today and start counting the days. The problem with a "never going to happen" prophecy is that there's never a point where you can say "that's it, the deadline passed!" But as time goes on, perhaps this epoch will reveal to future generations just how cynical the world of corporate asstroturf is.

AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR BREAKDOWN:

En Vogue

"Never gonna get it, never gonna get it!
NEEEEEVER gonna get it, never gonna get it;
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it.
Never gonna get it. (whoa-whoa-WHOOOH-whoa)..."

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