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Hey Valve Software? GO TO HELL!!! Sincerely, the Linux Community

Date/Time Permalink: 08/08/12 05:21:00 pm
Category: General

This Valve spam in the Linux community, this hoax perpetrated by Valve and Phoronix, has gone on long enough to rival the SCO jokes and Duke Nukem Forever urban legend.

I don't care if there is a Steam client for Linux. I wouldn't play the filthy piece of crap if you paid me. Valve can drop dead. Linux has games. Linux has companies like Mojang and id Software that have been much nicer to it than Valve even promises to be some day. We also have games on the Android platform, too. We even have Linux on gaming consoles themselves now. Come to think of it, Valve needs Linux far worse than Linux ever needed Valve, and Valve burned that bridge long ago.

Valve, listen closely:


And that was the six o'clock news.

Linux administrators, bloggers, tweeters, journalists, users: Lend me your ears.

Is there spam from Phoronix about Valve on your website? Is your community whipped into a froth over this hoax yet again? I gather the promise is, Steam for Linux, real soon now?

Just like they were saying in 2011?

Just like they were saying in 2010?

Just like they were saying in 2009?

Just like they were saying in 2008?

Just like they were saying in 2007?

Are you still counting? That's five years ago. "September 13, 2007" It's really easy, people, Google has a custom date range feature for searches, it's really educational.

Just like they were saying in 2006?

Just like they were saying in 2005?

Just like they were saying in 2004?

Just like they were saying in 2003?

Yes, the Valve-Steam-Linux spam-troll-astroturf-campaign is ACTUALLY OLDER THAN THE US-IRAQ WAR!!!

Here's a forum linking to Richard Stallman's post mentioning Valve porting Steam games to Linux (along the way to cautioning against non-free software) back in 2002.

Linux administrators, bloggers, tweeters, journalists, users: Have you no pride? Have you no self-respect? At the very least, if you chose to make such ignorant fools of yourselves as to go on gullibly swallowing this lie, this horse puckey, this song and dance, could you not at least spare some consideration for the poor readers who have to shovel the astroturf crap out of your RSS feed in the morning?

Linux community, why not let this be the year when we tell the boy who cried wolf that he doesn't get the front page headline anymore? Join me in boycotting all Valve Software products, no matter if they run on FreeBSD installed on a toaster oven. There is a price to pay for ten years of spam. That price is, people hate your company and don't want anything to do with it any more. Join me further, in demanding that news outlets refuse to carry Valve stories any more. They are not "stories", they do not belong on "news" websites, because they are hoaxes, ladies and gentlemen. Respond to every "Steam on Linux" story with an email or letter to the editor, saying: Enough is enough.

The credibility of news sources who seriously post this Valve / Steam / Linux hoax is to be called into question. If one runs a news source, one gives some editorial consideration to credibility, and does not allow every conspiracy theorist and UFO cultie to have the open mike. Responsible Linux news agencies do not perpetuate this decade-long astroturf campaign, certainly not to pollute and clog up the Linux news world until it's impossible to read about anything else.

And then let's all find something better to do with our time, shall we?

UPDATE I love it when the reactions (here and other places on the web, hopefully all viewable when Disqus straightens out) make my point better than I do myself. Let's see here, if you were an astroturfer doing PR-damage-control for Valve, and somebody just posted proof of your spam going back a decade, what do you do? Aha! You claim that the source of the spam had nothing to do with the subject! So far two separate responses to this post have claimed that Phoronix did all this stuff independently and then Valve just happened to decide to jump on the bandwagon now. You know, by complete coincidence!

Yeah, pull my other leg. It plays Pachabel's Canon in D.

Like I say, I don't care what claims are made. I don't care what claims are made good on. I don't care if Valve / Steam / Phoronix cures cancer. Valve has disrupted the Linux community long enough. And the fact that they're fighting back just goes to prove me righter. There's something evil going on, or they would not act this way. Plain old street smarts will tell you this.

Let's see here, how many times have you long-term readers seen this little drama play out over the years? When there's a huge hivemind-circlejerk about something and I'm the only dissenter? SOPA, OWS, Wrong Paul, Wikileaks, Anonymous, Microsoft evangelists, Microsoft Mono, Novell, Con Colivas, Helios and the Tux500 fiasco... Go ahead, Valve, make my day! A few more and I'll have my own Billy Joel song. Called "Don't Call Penguin Pete A Liar".

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