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Fake Geeks Now Complaining About Fake Fake Geeks

Date/Time Permalink: 07/25/12 01:36:47 pm
Category: Geek Culture

Suddenly, CNN has woken up to the stunning revelation that water is wet, objects fall towards the center of the Earth, and there are people who pretend to be "geeks" just to get attention.

"I hate poachers. Pure and simple." whines the pissy little manchild, as he not only poaches the word "geek", but stabs it through the heart and pisses on its grave every day that he has been alive.

Well, gosh.

Color you blue.

Now that "geek" means "somebody who feels that their high standing is jeopardized by booth babes", can we please have our word back? Here is the bar for people who deserve to call themselves "geek" - you need to be at least this smart to apply:

This is what a geek is

That's Cody Brocious, a Mozilla developer, dropping by the Black Hat Conference to demonstrate his new hack using an Arduino to hack into motel keycard locks.

Geek elements in Brocious' story:

  • "developer" - someone who applies knowledge of computers for a living
  • "Mozilla" - open source software
  • "Black Hat Conference" - gathering of geeks
  • "Arduino" - open source hardware
  • "demonstrate" - using one's knowledge to teach others
  • a technology story posted on a technology website

Everything that there is to say about actual geek culture is included in this story. There is nothing left out. If the Venn diagram between your interests and this story does not contain any intersecting circles, then you are not a geek.

Elements not present in Brocious' story, hence not part of geek culture:

  • Batman
  • Star Wars
  • Star Trek
  • Video games
  • Movies
  • Comic books
  • TV shows
  • Science fiction
  • Fiction
  • Dressing stupid
  • Acting stupid
  • "LOL"
  • "Forever alone"
  • "booth babes"
  • Any Internet meme
  • Being a manchild
  • Being an attention whore
  • Being a loser

You see, the reason that what the mainstream is calling "geek culture" is getting infiltrated by "fake geeks" now is because it's all been "fake geeks" all the way down since mainstream media first found out about the word, exactly like they did with the words "hacker" and "nerd" before that. Actual geeks would never be found within a mile radius of any event at which "booth babe" would even be an applicable term.

Liking fiction does not make you a "geek". Liking fiction makes you a "fan". There's nothing wrong with being a fan. I am a fan too. But being a fan does not make me a geek. Interest in technology, learning, science, computing, developing, creating, doing, working, and teaching, makes me a geek.

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