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A Few Well-Earned Jabs at L. Ron Paul Hubbard

Date/Time Permalink: 12/06/07 07:17:23 pm
Category: Humor

This is not a political blog, but a technology blog. I endorse NO candidate, period, since they're all scumbags across the board.

But when political strife looms heavily in the technology sphere, I can then declare it open game. So, while I honestly can't make a case for favoring one candidate over another, I can definitely say that the supporter(s?) of Ron Paul have burned a place in the history books as an irritating cult of crazies.

I haven't seen such a massive spam and social news fraud campaign come out of Texas since... er, ah, a certain Indianapolis 500 entry that was supposed to have a sticker on it advertising Linux!

That being said, take note AGAIN that for all I care Wrong Paul could win, as he certainly can't be any more harm than any of the other white male right-wing millionaire racist sexist flakes in the race.

Take note also of the category: HUMOR. These signs are done in HUMOR. And as an exercise in Gimping. And to be offered free to the public, for LOLcatting and forum-posting fun.

Ron Paul crying baby

Ron Paul is he bad, he will make you want to keep Bush!

Ron Paul rigs votes

Ron Paul as Ross Perot 2.0

This one is especially dead-on, I think:

L. Ron Paul Hubbard Dianetics

THE VERY UNFUNNY - but necessary - DISCLAIMER:

Reluctantly, I will have to notify readers in advance that all comments consisting of angry reactions from Paul-ologists are going to have to be deleted immediately. There are some topics guaranteed to draw flames, and this is one of them. Readers interested in what Ron Paul trolls have to say can find plenty of that through Google.

RedState.com knows the right thing to do. So does that darling of the Jargon File (since it's the only blog named therein), Little Green Footballs.

Take my word for it: This is one site that WILL TOLERATE NO RON PAUL SUPPORT. Period. I don't care if he holds the cure for cancer. I don't care about being fair, democratic, or even remotely logical or sensible in this matter. This isn't about politics or who gets elected, this is pointing out that a presidential candidate has a chorus of flaming fanatics who have made gold-plated jerks of themselves everywhere else online. And I will not let that stop me from posting some simple images in humor and a spirit of fun. Ron Paul's cult members do not scare this blogger with their Internet terrorism. Just once, on just this site, this post is reserved so that the REST OF US may speak freely.

It. Is. A. Joke. Take it that way.

Bonus Buck: Google Paultard. Read what you find. Hilarious!


UPDATE: What did I say about the donation campaign to sponsor Tux on a race car? And don't I even remember suggesting at the time that even a blimp, as impractical as it is, would be a better return on advertising value than the dime-sized dot on the last-place race-car?

The gods have punished me for my joke with a campaign to raise donations to sponsor a Ron Paul blimp. With comment nuggets o' gold such as "DONATE TODAY! Every Penny Counts!" and "Total is now $172,465 with a bit under 24 hrs remaining. Close, but looking good."

The Huffington post: "They claim to have raised over $98,000 toward the $350K they think will make this blimp a reality." Oh, and it's been tried before by another famous election failure, Howard the Dean.

OK, where's Develio? I know they're hiding in this somewhere.

...googles...

Here's former Tux500 cultist and Helios acolyte Thomas Holbrook rooting for Guess Who. And, just like the long-dead tux500.com, here's RonPaulBlimp.com. God, I'm so sorry I looked. Can somebody please inject me with enough sedative to knock me out until 2009, now?

Look on the bright side. You can tell I'm not on the case of the "Ron Paul Blimp Scam". If I was, they'd end up with a polaroid scotch-taped to a kite.


UPDATE 12/13/07: Awww, the blimp isn't going to fly after all! Bad weather (In Boston? In December? Unheard of!) and FAA restrictions (oh, that's right, there's laws...) are grounding the blimp indefinitely, robbing Google of the chance to shoot it down with a cease 'n' desist for using their name on the side of it.

Correction: OK, it flew, but with completely different route, schedule, and plans from when it started.

So, moral of the story, before you collect $200,000 and give it to somebody to build a blimp, make sure you (a) check the laws, and (b) get a weather report.

However, don't despair, Ron Paulians! You may have shown the world your Paultard side, but at least you knew when to quit and didn't persist until you'd crashed your blimp twice and crippled two pilots, which still makes you 1000 times as smart as a Tux500tard.


Update: 1/30/08 The blimp ran out of money, which is just as well since it spent most of its time circling cow pastures in SC, and cows don't vote. Yet, on the same day, a new race-car sponsorship is announced.

Aaaugh! The Stupid! It burns! The Stuuuuupiiiid!

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