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A Dive Into the Searchbag

Date/Time Permalink: 12/22/06 01:03:06 pm
Category: Searchbag
Hello, True Believers! It's time once again to pull up a few items from the search-bag, that list of search terms tracked by my b2evolution stats which show some of the phrases which landed people on this site via a search engine. What I'm mostly interested in are the "near-misses" - those phrases which show that the searcher came here looking for something that was almost, but not quite, entirely unhere.

"python is gay"
Get stuffed! Python is one of the most glorious languages ever made, combining the power of C/C++ with an elegance approaching that of Lisp. Python set a new bar in scripting languages, which every one since has had to strive for. Don't let a little thing like white-space put you off. The tab/newline delimiter convention is only there because the same people now saying "Python is gay" were the ones whimpering (with chins a-quivering!) about the semicolons and curly braces in C and the parenthesis in Lisp. You asked for it, you got it.

"twm window manager change desktop background"
Depending on what you have installed:
fbsetbg -a /path/to/your/wallpaper
(...if Fluxbox is installed)
bsetbg -f /path/to/your/wallpaper
(...if Blackbox is installed)
wmsetbg -a /path/to/your/wallpaper
(...if Window Maker is installed)
xsetbg -fullscreen /path/to/your/wallpaper
(...if you've nothing but X, and xsetbg installed)

All of the above only set an image to a fullscreened wallpaper, with the first three preserving the aspect ratio. In addition, you can simply add the "xv" program to your TWM menu or summon it from the command line and use that - it's kind of primitive, but hey, you *are* using TWM!

Background setting on Linux is a wide gallery of hacks which I will dive into in a future post.

"cybersex howto"
No, folks, I do not make these up. A-a-alrighty-then, first, go to Wikipedia for a very clear explanation of cybersex. Generally, you and your partner sit in your snug little private chat room and type sexy things at each other. Whilst doing so, engage your favorite masturbatory toy to the preferred intensity of stimulation nestled snugly on/in/around/against whatever genitalia you have. No, you're not missing something, that's really all there is to it! Added gadgets which make it nicer include webcams and remote-controlled vibrators. But, this not being an erotic blog, I'm not going to elaborate.

By the way, folks, let's not be so hasty to condemn all those with an interest in cybersex as being pathetic losers. Some members of married, committed, or otherwise faithful couples have to be away from their partner while traveling on business, sometimes for months. If you wanted to be faithful (and keep your partner faithful) while they were on the other side of the world with nothing but third-world fleshpots for company, you'd fire up the webcam and put on a show for them, too.

"penguin haiku"
Computer is fast -
like fire to its master's whim
a penguin lives here!

The penguins marching,
black and white uniforms hail
the revolution!

In winter the snow
falls softly on the igloo;
warm penguin inside!
Take your pick. I like the third one myself. I'm sure many more penguin haikus will be added in the comments...

"coolness factor Linux geek"
C=I+L+P+R+D+J*K-M
where...
  • C= YR KEWLNE55, D00D!
  • I=installations - number of times you've installed Linux
  • L=live CDs - number of live distros you've run
  • P=people - number of people you've 'turned on' to Linux
  • R=relative - add one point per relative using Linux because of you, regardless of P
  • D=distro - numerical ranking of current distro's popularity on distrowatch
  • K=kernel - a value of two if the kernel has ever included lines of your code
  • J=job - add ten points if working with Linux is part of your paycheck
  • M=Microsoft - number of years you ran Microsoft, even in dual-booting
Note that the more popular your distro, the fewer points you get for it.

Come to think of it, this is stupid. Forget I said anything about the Linux geek coolness factor.

"Chromium freezing Ubuntu"
Almost definitely your graphics card (or lack thereof). Or, it could be your drivers. Chromium is a high-performance graphics game, and will bring not just Ubuntu, but any distro to its knees if it's running without a good card or the drivers to talk to it. Follow me on Twitter for an update every time this blog gets a post.
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