If the Internet is a series of tubes, then this is the catch-basin.

HOWTO start living the "No Choice" lifestyle

Date/Time Permalink: 08/14/06 04:08:59 pm
Category: Humor

In a followup to this post, I was surfing the stat logs to see who links to what and why like all us websters do occasionally. And I ran across a comment in ubuntuforums making the case, for the thousandth time, that Linux is doomed - DOOMED! - _D*O*O*M*E*D_ - for having too many choices. One comment even advised "Stop using common sense and think of the economics!" Righty-then: Herewith, a guide to the No-Choice lifestyle:

1. Eat only one kind of food for the rest of your life.
2. Throw away all the clothes in your closet except one outfit.
3. Marry the first person who asks you.
4. Call the car dealership and tell them to pick a car for you to buy. If it breaks down at some point in your life, too bad, that was your choice.
5. Follow the advice of your high school guidance counselor. Stick to whatever career they recommend.
6. Never move from your home town.
7. Only select one brand of everything to use. If they stop making it, you stop using it.
8. Ignore all of the Linux distros except one. Use that. Never consider another one, just pretend the one you picked is all of Linux that there is. It doesn't really matter worth a damn, anyway; the difference between one distro or another is what programs it includes, but all Linux systems can be turned into all other Linux systems by simply downloading and installing the appropriate programs! What, did someone not mention this before?

UPDATE: 11/21/06 Joel on Software wrote an eye-catching piece bemoaning the shutdown options in Windows. Even quotes another one of those "information architect" snake-oil salesman, who says: "drawing extensively on his own work in the social sciences, shows that a bewildering array of choices floods our exhausted brains, ultimately restricting instead of freeing us." NOTE: I highly respect Joel, read him for years, just don't always agree with him. And I'm all for bashing Windows, and on Linux the KDE menu only has about 3 choices in this place, but still...

Has it come to this? Are we to have a new Big Brother slogan, "Choice is Restriction" to add to "Freedom is Slavery", "War is Peace", and "Ignorance is Strength"? If you have a brain which melts down at the prospect of choosing shut-downs (hey, choose each one in order until you find one you like?), how do you cope with choosing a career, a life, a home, something for dinner? How do you make it through the mall? Hence my satire.

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