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Hey, Remember The Searchbag?

Date/Time Permalink: 06/13/10 10:50:31 am
Category: Searchbag

Here's a goldie oldie for you: Years back on this blog I would have a semi-regular feature called searchbag which would always start with a spiel like this:

"Hello, True Believers! It's time once again to pull up a few items from the search-bag, that list of search terms tracked by my b2evolution stats which show some of the phrases which landed people here. What I'm mostly interested in are the "near-misses" - those phrases which show that the searcher came here looking for something that was almost, but not quite, entirely unhere."

And man, you wouldn't believe the cra-a-a-azy things people typed into Google and company that landed them here...

Does looking up penguin pictures mean you have a mental problem?

Yes. I mean really, it's a matter of scale. Just as a one-time thing, no, not at all. But if it's constant, it's all you can think about, it's interfering with other parts of your life, it's the only thing in your life with meaning, then yes. You didn't specify all that, so the default assumption is that if you have to ask, it is a mental problem.

penguin graphics smoking weed

Here it is:

Tux the stoner

PS What is it with geeks and pot lately? I could see other non-linear creative pursuits, like musicians or visual artists, but a linear exercise like programming? Isn't it hard enough already to remember what all your inherited classes do without being blazed?

can we agree that the plural of abacus is abaci

It's fine with me, but this is the Internet. We still haven't settled 100 other, more obvious and common spelling and grammar controversies, so good luck with that.

ubuntu means slackware is too difficult for me

I can't believe I didn't think of this one myself. And I actually went from Slackware to Ubuntu, too. Maybe it's a message from me in the future.

accidentally clicked on something labeled nsfw could my boss see that

I'm ready to write a doctoral thesis on the "NSFW" disease. It is a disease, a phobia caused by childhood anxiety about over-controlling parents and the fear that they'd find your porn stash and beat you with a belt and send you to reform school. Freud could probably trace it back to something to do with dad finding out about your Oedipal fantasies and punishing you in some unspeakable primal way. Folks, seriously, NOBODY GIVES A HOT FART WHAT YOU HAVE ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN! It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, IT DOESN'T MATTER! Everybody else within sighting distance is more likely than not looking at their own screen. And if you work somewhere where you still have to explain that you accidentally had something unsavory pop up on your screen for a moment, you are working for Fred Flintstone in the stone club factory and you should quit right now and move out of the Jurassic era.

....wait, I think there's more...

I swear, I'm going to develop a Tyler Durden alter-ego and run around splicing porn clips into otherwise-safe media until this ridiculous mass panic stops! (extra leftover exclamation points: !!!!!!) There are scenes that actually pass in a Disney cartoon that if you put them online, they'd be hooted at by the NSFW-screech-owls! (bwah ha ha the rant-rage feeds itself) There is nothing, nothing at all, that could not be labeled "NSFW." EVEN THE LETTERS IN NSFW??? (Oops, I mean !!!) Noooo wiiiire haaaaangers iiiiiin thiiiiis hoooooouuuuuse!!!!!! EVAR!!!!

*Pant pant pant puffff pant.*

Whew. OK, where was I?

hacker kid has to save the world movie

Don't you hate those? But the public loves 'em. I even parody this in the webcomic I draw which I'm not going to name or link to this time, and what the hell, the character I use as the parody is becoming one of the most popular (or, at least, most commented-upon) characters in the strip. That's just the way the cracker cracks. It's a combination of the tropes Wake Up Go To School Save The World and Magical Computer.

how to stop being a geek

Ooooh, maybe this twelve-step program will do the trick:

  1. Watch lots of TV. No sci-fi!
  2. Get rid of all computers and digital devices larger than your cell phone.
  3. Start paying attention to sports. Pick a favorite sport and team.
  4. Switch to any non-technology career.
  5. Go to the doctor and get diagnosed with something requiring medicating. The idea here is to treat your intelligence like a disease and seek to rid yourself of it.
  6. Get a firm religious conviction. Believe the literal, fundamental truth of every word of its scripture.
  7. Join the tea-bagger party.
  8. Buy Hallmark cards for every person on every occasion.
  9. Throw away all your books.
  10. Get all of your news from TV. Pick one station and be loyal to it, swallowing every word spoon-fed to you.
  11. Dump your current significant other and aim to hook up with someone a little closer to the mundane end of the spectrum. Someone who will look down on your for using big words.
  12. Wear a suit and tie.

Practice all of the above for a year, and you'll be a changed person.

scrap heap

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Yar! 'Tis Me Pirate-Day SearchBag Post!

Date/Time Permalink: 09/19/08 01:00:07 pm
Category: Searchbag

Ahoy there, my mateys! 'Tis the time to plunder baubles of randomness from the searchbag, which be the list o' terms o' searchin' that are charted by me bloggin' software. Here, I be lookin' fer the telltale signs of explorers who docked at my port o' call lookin' fer booty which wasn't stocked here, though the search engines marked the 'X' over my reef. And o' course, speakin' in the dialect o' sea dogs in observance o' th' day.

geek insult - 'Tis not me custom to be postin' salty remarks against landlubbers. However, me matey Rea Maor has collected a catalog o' terms which the elite regularly hurl at the salt o' th' Earth, guaranteed to arm yer cannons aginst the bilge-suckin' rats who plague ye.

is ubuntu bad for linux? - Aaaargh, no, ye stalwart seeker o' wisdom, yer got th' wrong idear. Ubuntu is a beckoning trade route for young salts expectin' to hoist sail for th' exotic ports o' Linux. It just isn't the rum o' choice for experienced old salts o' Linux, if ye ken my meanin'.

sudo code for mowing the lawn - Landlubber pursuits don't interest us buccaneers, and they don't draw the spyglass o' computer captains too often, neither. Ye probably got th' idea from the XKCD comic o' the mate who inspires his lass t' fix 'im some grub, but thar be no equivalent. Try hidin' his bottle o' rum in th' weeds, and when they grow too tall he'll have to trim 'em back to find it!

CAN WE HACK INTO WINDOWS MACHINE WITH LINUX OS - In the first place, ye scallywag, yellin' yer queries to Google don't make it troll the seas at any faster knots. She cares not what case ye phrase yer speech. And in the main point, Linux indeed be a shipshape man-o-war to plunder th' seas with, and Windows be an especially weak schooner prone to sink to Davy Jones' Locker wit' a mere shot across her bow. But if yer reduced to askin' such daft things of Internet oracles, might I suggest that the pirate life not be fer ye? Ye needs able-bodied seamen on yer crew afore ye take to settin' sail. Sure as ye try yer first pillage, ye'll be arrested and hung from a yardarm by th' first light o' dawn!

attractive geek girl scifi convention - Sure 'n' blimey, ye may find a fair bonny lass or two at a meetin' o' fans fer fantastic tales, but by what trickery do ye propose to catch their eye? They'll be in costume so ye can't reckon them from the mates, unless they be obvious lasses and then she'll be stowin' with a sailor already. Ye'll have smoother sailin' scoutin' fer wenches at th' tavern.

ascii banner kevin sucks - Ye be havin' a quarrel with a mate named 'Kevin', eh? Perhaps the captain o' Digg.com? Aye, that port is not favorable to anchor me own galleon, either. Here be an elegant parchment scroll upon which to express yer disfavor with the scurvy dog...

Take note, 'tis not my quarrel, however.

'Til next time, me mateys, keep yer sails filled!

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Mr. Helpful Answers Your Searchbag Queries...

Date/Time Permalink: 04/06/08 03:13:48 pm
Category: Searchbag

Hello, True Believers! It's time once again to pull up a few items from the search-bag, that list of search terms tracked by my b2evolution stats which show some of the phrases which landed people here. What I'm mostly interested in are the "near-misses" - those phrases which show that the searcher came here looking for something that was almost, but not quite, entirely unhere.

bob dobbs ascii art - You asked for it.


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bash loop a-to-z - for LETTER in $(echo {a..z}); do echo $LETTER; done

how many words can you make from penguin - 26!

En, ennui, gin, gnu, gun, in, inn, nine, nip, nu, nun, peg, pen, penguin, pi, pie, pig, pin, pine, ping, pug, pun, unpeg, unpen, unpin, up.

gutsy firefox tries to download php - This is a server error. With both Perl and PHP, it's supposed to execute the file and generate the HTML page for you. Just cancel (or go ahead and save it for curiosity's sake!) and wait a minute and try the link again. Some servers do this if they're bogged down.

what penguins signify linux - This page reveals all of the mysteries about why Linus chose a penguin for the mascot.

Had it been my choice, I would have ended up with a bat, because bats are the most exotic winged creature I've encountered. As a result, I have tons of respect for these creatures. And bats would represent Linux very well... Like Linux, bats are everywhere, but not perceived by most people. Like Linux, bats are misunderstood by most people. Like Linux, bats can survive anywhere. And bats can fly and migrate, and they're furry and cuddly, too...

Wait! Where's everybody going? You don't like bats?

bash variable life span - All declared variables go out of scope as soon as you close the terminal session in which they were created. The same applies to all variables created in a Bash script; when the script exits, the variables go poof. However, the Bash environment has several variables built in.

dosbox rocky horror - God help me, as a result of this search query I found the game - who else would have it but Underdogs? - and of course had to try it.

A sad ending is that I didn't get to! I got it downloaded alright, but unzipping it produces a pack of further ZIP files. Unzipping all of these produces a gawdawful mess as it appears that the copy at Underdogs is a CD-rip that's been sliced into chunks by some kind of file-splitting program, and then packed with a "Midnight Commander" ripoff called "Ace.exe" and a gaggle of ANSI art, splash banners, FILE-ID.DIZ junk, and the usual trappings of having passed through the colons of about 100 warez sites. I gave up trying to figure out how to paste it together into something that would run, DOSBox or no.

But the game only came out in bloody 1999! And here it is whiffing of BBS ratio sites from the 1980s! Did it do its own "Time Warp Again" and hop back through a decade? I'll try to find it again some other way. NOTE: This has never happened before with Underdogs - usually they are a quality site and if they offer a game free for download, it is clearly legal to do so and it is in usable condition. It might now be legal to obtain "The Rocky Interactive Horror Show" for free, but if so, we need a copy that hasn't been warezed to a meaty pulp.

#####################################################
# __________                            .__         #
# \______   \ ____   ____    ____  __ __|__| ____   #
#  |     ___// __ \ /    \  / ___\|  |  \  |/    \  #
#  |    |   \  ___/|   |  \/ /_/  >  |  /  |   |  \ #
#  |____|    \___  >___|  /\___  /|____/|__|___|  / #
#                \/     \//_____/       .--.    \/  #
# __________        __                 |o_o |       #
# \______   \ _____/  |_  ____         |:_/ |       #
#  |     ___// __ \   __\/ __ \       //   \ \      #
#  |    |   \  ___/|  | \  ___/      (|     | )     #
#  |____|    \___  >__|  \___  >    /'\_   _/`\     #
#                \/          \/     \___)=(___/     #
#####################################################

PS I've moved "searchbag" posts into their own category. They work better that way for boredom-browsing, since they're an anything-goes collection of potpourri.

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A Special New-Years-Eve Searchbag Post

Date/Time Permalink: 12/31/07 09:39:10 pm
Category: Searchbag

Because this blog (and my mood) needs a lighten-up kick in the gluteus maximus (last post being exhibit A), and because with 4 hours left of 2007 and the champagne bottle ready for popping, I am in no mood to do any real work, it's time to clean out the searchbag, the list of search terms tracked by my b2evolution stats which show some of the phrases which landed people here.

10 digit code myspace hack - Look in your local phone book for the mental health hotline, and it will give you the ten-digit code for MySpace users. Punch the code into any phone, after pressing '1'. Tell the person who answers that you need to be committed immediately. No, no, no - thank you!

nethack howto open chest - Most heart surgeons use a scalpel, but you mean those chests you find in the dungeons. First, stand on it and hit 'l' to 'loot' the chest. 90% of the time this won't work, because the chest is locked. If you have a key, lock pick, wand of opening, credit card, or other device, hit 'a' to 'apply' it to the chest's lock. If you don't have that, use Alt-F to 'force' the lock open. Note that you have a probability of destroying the chest when you force it, depending on what weapon you wield to force it. Daggers are better than staffs for this.

My daughter won't date the guy I like - Give up, madam. Your daughter and I have been married fifteen happy years; it's too late to do anything about it now.

nethack how to use magic marker - A magic marker is a tool which can do two things: write a scroll or book, or engrave on the floor. It can be recharged just like a wand. To write a scroll or book, apply the marker with the 'a' command. You need a blank scroll or book. You usually need some luck, familiarity with writing, or to have used the kind of scroll or book you're trying to write, in order to succeed.

geek phrases no one understands - This is almost a logical impossibility, since surely, somebody understood any phrase when it was coined at least. You might be thinking of Command-line memes or Snowclones or Jargon.

How do I bring up command line? - Very gently, and only while hiding behind an asbestos shield. By advocating the command line, you automatically become the most-hated person on the Internet at that moment. Which is funny, because all software is made out of command lines, which almost nobody will admit.

debian clergy - I... uh... see... oh, I give up. Just write your own joke about secret societies, FOSS zealots, cathedral software engineering methods, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster here.

apt-get explained - The concept here is that you can make new software appear on your computer as easily as you can order a pizza over the phone. Even easier than that, since all the pizzas I know of cost money. Just command "Let there be software!" and behold, it is so. No shopping, searching, EULAs, anti-piracy checks, product ID codes, dependency issues, or fighting off hordes of vengeful goblins as you beat a hasty retreat from the cave.

why doesn't firefox color my visited links? - If it's just affecting a specific page or site, somebody built the web page with a healthy dose of boundless stupidity. It is possible to over-ride the default visited-link behavior with CSS. Thus, it invokes Penguin Pete's Law of the Blink Tag, which states, "Every possible way to abuse a feature will be deployed by somebody."

Happy New Year 2008, from the ASCII cow

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I'm Bored! What's In The Searchbag?

Date/Time Permalink: 11/08/07 08:03:18 am
Category: Searchbag

Cue the dancing kangaroos in tutus! Fire up the credenza! Split a spliff, smoke some schwag, and tune your boogaloo kazoo! As your Master of Ceremonies takes the balcony, turns to the peanut gallery and says:

Hello, True Believers! It's time once again to pull up a few items from the search-bag, that list of search terms tracked by my b2evolution stats which show some of the phrases which landed people on this site via a search engine. What I'm mostly interested in are the "near-misses" - those phrases which show that the searcher came here looking for something that was almost, but not quite, entirely unhere.

I'm also interested in filling space...

"desktop toilet full" - What an excellent name for a desktop recycle bin. Right-click and select "flush". Click "yes" to the hysterical dummy box that asks "Are you SURE you want to flush these (x) items?" as if these were priceless treasures from the Smithsonian. By the way, I think all real-life trashcans should include a voice chip that asks "Are you SURE you want to throw this away?" every time something lands in them.

"forbidden code download ebook" - Yes, I have an ebook of forbidden code. Many, in fact. But if I let you download it, then it wouldn't be forbidden, nooooow, would it?

"set animated png as linux background" - OK, one more time with feeling: PNGs cannot animate. GIFs can. And you can set a GIF as a desktop background, but guess what? It won't animate. It will stay stuck on the first frame. This is because the thing that does the animating isn't embedded into the image file itself, but is in fact part of the web browser engine. The GIF file only contains the data to tell the web browser how to animate it.

"html codes hearts spades etc" - That would be:

  • &#9824 for spades
  • &#9827 for clubs
  • &#9829 for hearts
  • &#9830 for diamonds

...and what's with the "etc"? Was Google supposed to fill in the rest of your query?

"local rat killer in logic circuit" - I have no idea which alternate dimension would hold the answer to this query, nor would I dare to guess what problem provoked the search. Here's the Wikipedia entry on Harry Harrison's "The Stainless Steel Rat" series - is that any help?

"linux excuses" - "It's still compiling." "The partition needs to be fscked." "The file couldn't preserve the permissions when I wrote it back to VFAT." "Adobe won't port that." "The site is blocking Firefox." "I couldn't decide whether to use Qt or GTK and gave up in frustration." "The only editors on the system are Emacs and vi and I'm strictly a Pico person." "Stallman doesn't like that license." "This is fresh out of CVS nightly." "Wine doesn't run that yet." "I catted /dev/random to /etc/magic and turned into a frog."

You get the idea...

not a web award

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Time for a Summer Searchbag Edition...

Date/Time Permalink: 05/19/07 12:11:49 pm
Category: Searchbag

Well, it's about time this site got a lighten-up, soooo:

Hello, True Believers! It's time once again to pull up a few items from the search-bag, that list of search terms tracked by my b2evolution stats which show some of the phrases which landed people on this site via a search engine. What I'm mostly interested in are the "near-misses" - those phrases which show that the searcher came here looking for something that was almost, but not quite, entirely unhere.

will linux play .exe files
Not without an emulator. Either WINE or DOSbox is your friend. Whatever your reasons for running exe files on Linux, I hope you aren't like this 'Netbug' character!

database /var/lib/slocate/slocate.db' is more than 8 days how to update database
Be logged in as root, and type 'updatedb'. Depending on your setup (processor speed and size of hard drive) this can take anywhere from several minutes to half an hour or so. Most installed Linux systems do this automatically from 'cron', usually configured to run its jobs at some time convenient, like 4AM.

another word for grouchy or sourpuss
The free online thesaurus is here. "Penguin Pete", doesn't show up as a synonym for either word, so you might intend to register a complaint about that...

xxx-rated footage at football games
I have no idea. Just thought I'd point out that somebody was searching for the topic of (a)porn within the topic of (b)sports, and a search engine pointed them to a geek blog about FOSS. I gather that search technology still has a few bugs in the system...

how-to tell if a binary number is divisible by 2
If it ends in 0. Don't they teach anything in school any more? 1, 10, 11, 100, 101, 110, etc.

nethack spellbook crumbles to dust
Most likely it was cursed, which is also sometimes the cause of other jolting events happening when you try to read it, such as being blinded, teleporting, randomly cursed inventory, etc. The *other* reason is that you weren't a high enough level or ability to read it yet (this even happens to wizards).

i love being a geek
So do I! Being a geek is where it's at. You get to fix your own stuff, you always have a job, and being a natural-born engineer, your specialty is solving problems - both on and off the computer. The geek dating market has improved, and if you end up raising a family, you get to teach your kids all the cool stuff you know.

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Hey! I haven't done a Searchbag post in awhile...

Date/Time Permalink: 02/26/07 07:47:16 pm
Category: Searchbag

Hello, True Believers! It's time once again to pull up a few items from the search-bag, that list of search terms tracked by my b2evolution stats which show some of the phrases which landed people on this site via a search engine. What I'm mostly interested in are the "near-misses" - those phrases which show that the searcher came here looking for something that was almost, but not quite, entirely unhere.

backgrounds that move: I just did that here. It's all in how you Google it.

programmer's distro: That's one I've wandered in search of for many years. I have it down to two: Slackware and grml and by extension Debian classic. Funny how at first, "a Linux distro for programmers" was a redundant phrase, and now in post-Ubuntu Linux, it's all you can do to find a distro that has enough teeth to chew a "hello world" C program out of the box. Linux as of 2007 has gotten so slack, I expect any day now to find it on my couch smoking pot and scarfing Mallomars.

attractive women reading blog: If there's any attractive women not married to me who are reading this blog, I'm sure they're lost.

nethack stop using leash: Oh, for Heaven's sake, just [A]pply it, the same way you put the leash on. It's only a keyboard in front of a game, you know. Just PLOKTA until something happens. I promise the keyboard won't bite your hands off if you guess wrong.

nethack avoid starvation: Eat. At least five things you can do in Nethack to stave off hunger: (1) Eat any regular food item - it never goes bad. (2) Eat fresh corpses - safe ones only! (3) Wear a ring of slow digestion. (4) Use a spell of stone-to-flesh to convert rocks and gems to meat. (5) Pray - but not too often or your deity will disown you.

damn small linux crack admin: You've gotta be kidding. Not only do you expect to find out how to break into a Linux box from the first page of Google results, but of all the distros to pick on, you're sitting there stumped by "Damn Small Linux"? What do you do on weekends, hold up a lemonade stand with a water pistol?

bash prompt date: Well, if your date showed up late then I could see wanting to bash them... oh, wait a minute, you want to know how to make a prompt in Bash show the calendar date. Just include '\d' anywhere in your PS1 declaration. To get the date from the command line, in typical elitist-egghead non-intuitive CLI thinking, the command is "date". And "cal" gives you a calender month printed out at the command line.

road sign sig

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A Dive Into the Searchbag

Date/Time Permalink: 12/22/06 01:03:06 pm
Category: Searchbag
Hello, True Believers! It's time once again to pull up a few items from the search-bag, that list of search terms tracked by my b2evolution stats which show some of the phrases which landed people on this site via a search engine. What I'm mostly interested in are the "near-misses" - those phrases which show that the searcher came here looking for something that was almost, but not quite, entirely unhere.

"python is gay"
Get stuffed! Python is one of the most glorious languages ever made, combining the power of C/C++ with an elegance approaching that of Lisp. Python set a new bar in scripting languages, which every one since has had to strive for. Don't let a little thing like white-space put you off. The tab/newline delimiter convention is only there because the same people now saying "Python is gay" were the ones whimpering (with chins a-quivering!) about the semicolons and curly braces in C and the parenthesis in Lisp. You asked for it, you got it.

"twm window manager change desktop background"
Depending on what you have installed:
fbsetbg -a /path/to/your/wallpaper
(...if Fluxbox is installed)
bsetbg -f /path/to/your/wallpaper
(...if Blackbox is installed)
wmsetbg -a /path/to/your/wallpaper
(...if Window Maker is installed)
xsetbg -fullscreen /path/to/your/wallpaper
(...if you've nothing but X, and xsetbg installed)

All of the above only set an image to a fullscreened wallpaper, with the first three preserving the aspect ratio. In addition, you can simply add the "xv" program to your TWM menu or summon it from the command line and use that - it's kind of primitive, but hey, you *are* using TWM!

Background setting on Linux is a wide gallery of hacks which I will dive into in a future post.

"cybersex howto"
No, folks, I do not make these up. A-a-alrighty-then, first, go to Wikipedia for a very clear explanation of cybersex. Generally, you and your partner sit in your snug little private chat room and type sexy things at each other. Whilst doing so, engage your favorite masturbatory toy to the preferred intensity of stimulation nestled snugly on/in/around/against whatever genitalia you have. No, you're not missing something, that's really all there is to it! Added gadgets which make it nicer include webcams and remote-controlled vibrators. But, this not being an erotic blog, I'm not going to elaborate.

By the way, folks, let's not be so hasty to condemn all those with an interest in cybersex as being pathetic losers. Some members of married, committed, or otherwise faithful couples have to be away from their partner while traveling on business, sometimes for months. If you wanted to be faithful (and keep your partner faithful) while they were on the other side of the world with nothing but third-world fleshpots for company, you'd fire up the webcam and put on a show for them, too.

"penguin haiku"
Computer is fast -
like fire to its master's whim
a penguin lives here!

The penguins marching,
black and white uniforms hail
the revolution!

In winter the snow
falls softly on the igloo;
warm penguin inside!
Take your pick. I like the third one myself. I'm sure many more penguin haikus will be added in the comments...

"coolness factor Linux geek"
C=I+L+P+R+D+J*K-M
where...
  • C= YR KEWLNE55, D00D!
  • I=installations - number of times you've installed Linux
  • L=live CDs - number of live distros you've run
  • P=people - number of people you've 'turned on' to Linux
  • R=relative - add one point per relative using Linux because of you, regardless of P
  • D=distro - numerical ranking of current distro's popularity on distrowatch
  • K=kernel - a value of two if the kernel has ever included lines of your code
  • J=job - add ten points if working with Linux is part of your paycheck
  • M=Microsoft - number of years you ran Microsoft, even in dual-booting
Note that the more popular your distro, the fewer points you get for it.

Come to think of it, this is stupid. Forget I said anything about the Linux geek coolness factor.

"Chromium freezing Ubuntu"
Almost definitely your graphics card (or lack thereof). Or, it could be your drivers. Chromium is a high-performance graphics game, and will bring not just Ubuntu, but any distro to its knees if it's running without a good card or the drivers to talk to it. Follow me on Twitter for an update every time this blog gets a post.
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And now, a rumble through the search bag...

Date/Time Permalink: 09/28/06 05:55:18 pm
Category: Searchbag

Hello, True Believers! It's time once again to pull up a few items from the search-bag, that list of search terms tracked by my b2evolution stats which show some of the phrases which landed people here. What I'm mostly interested in are the "near-misses" - those phrases which show that the searcher came here looking for something that was almost, but not quite, entirely unhere.

be my penguin Awwwwww, I love you too!

colonel panic general failure This is a reference to one of the taglines used at the top of this blog. I have a whole file of them, a batch of one-liner fortunes which I'm constantly adding to, and they are on permanent shuffle, thanks to a little PHP quickie. Refreshing this blog page will make a new one pop up under the title, but honestly, you're spoiling it for yourself if you do that. They are meant to be randomly displayed, to surprise and delight with their pithy wit and penultimate wisdom.

howto start a weblog Gee, well, for the absolute first-timer, all free blog-publishing sites on the Internet currently suck, but Blogger still manages to suck less. Get a free blog there and tinker with it until you decide if you really are cut out for it. One reason to recommend Blogger is that it's still newbie-friendly, but it's the only site I know where you can customize your blog's template directly through the HTML/CSS. It's kind of a training-wheels site for budding webmasters. When you are advanced enough to feel confined by Blogger, you're ready to rent a cheap host and pop up your favorite blog software; currently Wordpress and Movable Type have the market lead here, but I'm weird so I picked B2Evolution. The upside of B2Evo is that it is very, very hackable. The downside of B2Evo is that it's so flawed out of the box that you will have no option but to hack it. Note that there are some blogs on Blogger that still manage to do quite well, but I have no idea how they stand it.

is anybody still using OS/2? For all practical purposes, the answer would be the Mormon Tabernacle choir singing "Heeelllll NNNOOOOO!" with orchestral accompaniment and clashing symbols. But work as a sysadmin for Big Business, and you'll stumble upon all kinds of Lovecraftian horrors lurking in the IT infrastructure. I had the, uh, pleasure of working with OS/2 Warp (amongst other, even funner, systems!) for five years at one job. Really, not too terrible, but the best thing you could say about it was that it squeaked by as not too terrible.

blessing items nethack Easy! Find a potion of water - if you have no water, just #dip any random potion into any fountain twice, and it will be water. Next, find an altar of your own alignment. Drop the water on the altar and pray. Pick up the (now) holy water and #dip the item you want to bless into the water. Also uncurses items. Will use the potion up - it will be gone afterward just as if you'd quaffed it.

nationality of baba ganoush Baba Ganoush is a middle-Eastern food-stuff similar to hummus, only made with eggplant. A Mediterranean restaurant will serve it with pita bread which you tear up and dip in the baba ganoush as one eats chips and dip. By the way, if the pita bread comes to your table fresh-baked so that it's puffed up like a balloon and slowly deflates at your table to it's traditional flat shape, you're in a really good Mediterranean restaurant and should consider ordering the green tea, which will arrive with leaves still fresh and moist and which will only keep you awake and hyper for about five days or so. Ordering a second helping of green tea here runs the risk of being led away in a straight-jacket, drooling and shrieking with hysterical, shrill laughter, but seems to be a happy way to check out.

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